Mrs. Kao admitted that she had sometimes felt discouraged when she was teaching her brain-damaged son to manage their grocery store. However, a drunken customer's words propelled her to keep teaching her son until he succeeded.

"Wait a moment, I'll take your blood pressure later," said Mrs. Kao, wearing a volunteer's pink vest, to a man standing next to her. I later realized that he was her husband. Mrs. Kao is one of the health volunteers who underwent a five-month neighborhood training program designed by Tzu Chi Hospital in cooperation with eight farmers' associations in Hualien County.

Mrs. Kao told me that after she had learned to take blood pressure, she would practice it on her husband at home and that he would kiss her every time to show his appreciation. She laughed that taking his blood pressure had really improved their relationship.

A friend told me that whenever Mrs. Kao went out to do volunteer work, she would leave her grocery store to her son. He was able to run the store efficiently even though he suffered from irreparable brain damage. Impressed by this accomplishment, I decided to pay a visit to Mrs. Kao.

No worries

We missed her house and drove past it, so we had to turn back and start searching again. We discovered that it was one of the small, poor houses hiding behind a church which was situated along a provincial highway.

After making several turns, we parked our car under a shady tree in front of a low wall next to the grocery store. The tranquility of the neighborhood was appealing.

As we approached, a man inside the store took notice. He nodded to us without saying a word. When we told him why we were there, he started to move slowly towards us. As our eyes began to adjust to the darkness inside the store, we noticed that his head was quite large and that he was speaking a few words through his thick lips. Just then, a woman emerged from the house opposite the store. She smoothed her hair with her hand, a smile on her still sleepy face.

It was Mrs. Kao. She put her hand on the man's shoulder and said, "This is my son Chiu-yi. You can't tell he's my son, right?" She looked lovingly at the young man, who lowered his head. "What's the matter?" she laughed. "Why are you so quiet before these beautiful girls?" He smiled out of one side of his mouth. He didn't say anything, but he peeked at us once in a while as we were talking with his mother.

I asked Mrs. Kao, "So you leave him in charge of the store whenever you take a nap?"

"That's right," Mrs. Kao smiled. "I can relax without having to worry about the store." She led us into the house from which she had just emerged. When she noticed that our eyes were fixed on the photographs on the wall, she patiently explained to us who the people in the pictures were. "That handsome man is my husband. He always encourages me to join various activities and to meet people. He was the one who suggested that I take the home economics class at the farmers' association."

Good experiences

Mrs. Kao is a daughter of a tribal chief of the Ami aborigines. She, her husband and their four sons depended on the meager salary her husband earned at a local telecommunications company.

"In 1967, my husband was transferred to Taipei and he had to rent an apartment there. So I had to do laundry for people and also do some other extra work at home to supplement his income." Becoming more emotional, Mrs. Kao told us that Chiu-yi was born prematurely and had to stay in an incubator for three months. Ever since he was little, his head was larger than that of other children, so many children poked fun at him and called him "Big Head."

"When he was small, he couldn't walk straight. Some kids would place muck or filthy stuff in his way so that he would step in it. But his younger brother protected him. When Chiu-yi was ten years old, his head grew bigger and bigger. One day he suddenly shook his head and told me that there was water inside his head. Another time he kept hitting his head against the wall. When we took him to be examined, the doctor told us to send him to a major hospital in Taipei. There we learned that he had hydrocephalus [an abnormal amount of fluid in the cranial cavity]."

After three operations, Chiu-yi's condition improved a great deal, so Mrs. Kao eventually decided to let him take charge of the grocery store. But the process to get to that point was slow and difficult.

"Chiu-yi asked me to allow him to venture outside and go to the society for the disabled in Hualien to learn some skills. He first worked in a garment factory, then in a restaurant, and he also learned gardening.

The garment factory was owned by a friend and if it had not closed down, Chiu-yi would have continued to work there. In the restaurant, the boss did not take kindly to the fact that Chiu-yi often brought customers the wrong dishes, so Chiu-yi was fired after working there less than one month. He then worked for a gardening store, where he was delighted to receive his first salary. However, that boss, for unknown reasons, sometimes beat other employees and on occasion would lower Chiu-yi's salary. So we advised him to leave the place."

Mrs. Kao felt that it was good for Chiu-yi to have had these experiences.

Learning to be independent

While Mrs. Kao was teaching her son to manage the grocery store, there were many setbacks, and she thought of quitting several times. However, the words of a drunken customer made her continue to teach her son until he succeeded.

That customer took advantage of Chiu-yi at the grocery store one day. "Ha, ha, ha," he laughed in Mrs. Kao's face. "I gave Big Head five dollars and he gave me back seven! He's such an idiot!" The customer then went around telling other people about it. Mrs. Kao was very angry and upset. She knew there were other people like him in the village. She decided to teach Chiu-yi arithmetic and bookkeeping so that he could take charge of the store by himself.

"I taught him by role-playing. I would pretend to be a customer and buy things from him. I also used real money so he could learn bookkeeping." Mrs. Kao flipped through the pages of an accounting book so that we could see Chiu-yi's detailed records.

"Cigarettes for NT$25 a pack, instant noodles…" We were amazed at how meticulously Chiu-yi kept his records. "Like other small grocery stores in the countryside," his mother said, "we usually just use a pen to mark the price on the goods, but not everything is marked. Bookkeeping can help Chiu-yi remember the prices. If he forgets the price of something, he can check it in the notebook. It's also a good opportunity for him to practice his writing."

"Because I make Chiu-yi do so many things, my mother-in-law accuses me of abusing him. However, I feel that he needs to develop his skills, because who is going to take care of him after I die?"

Mrs. Kao's words reveal her inner struggle and anxiety. Yet the tenacity of her motherly love allows her to stand her ground when other people do not understand her dilemma.

Lonely but brave

Although she feels anguish over her son's situation, her mind tells her not to become emotional. "I have always treated him like any of my other children. I make all my boys wash their own clothes and share the household chores. They have to make their beds and wash the dishes. If Chiu-yi doesn't do his chores well, I make him do them again."

When Chiu-yi did not feel well after his second surgery, Mrs. Kao took him to Taipei to see another doctor. "When we reached Taipei that evening," she remembered, "the attending doctor was not in the hospital, so I took my son to a hotel. But when the hotel manager saw me carrying him upstairs on my back, he told us to leave. He was afraid that Chiu-yi would create trouble. In the end, we had to spend the night in the hospital emergency room." Since Mrs. Kao's husband was working and could not accompany them to Taipei, she felt lonely and helpless, aware that she was experiencing the ugly side of humankind.

We didn't want Mrs. Kao to dwell on the ugliness in the world, so we suggested that we go back to see Chiu-yi. On the way, we noticed that the quiet street was now bustling with activity. Several neighbors, along with some students, were sitting in front of the low wall by the grocery store.

"I want to buy some candy," yelled one of the students. Chiu-yi immediately got up and took care of the sale. Other customers also came, but Mrs. Kao made no attempt to help. Instead she invited us to sit down at a table.