The Teresa Children's Center in Hsinchu is a temporary shelter for orphaned, abused or neglected children. Formerly called the Teresa Center, it was founded in 1964 by Fr. John Billot, a Jesuit priest, and operated with the assistance of the Little Sisters of St. Teresa of the Child Jesus. Originally designed for student activities, the center was renamed the Teresa Polio Center in 1968, since it accommodated patients stricken by polio.

Due to recent social changes in Taiwan, the number of orphans and abused or neglected children has been increasing. Thus, the center was renamed the Teresa Children's Center in 1991. Currently, it provides shelter to over thirty children ranging in age from three and a half to twenty-one years. The center takes care of the children until their families can resume their responsibilities for them or until the children can live independently.

Most children who come to the Teresa Center have experienced a great deal of unhappiness in their lives. Each one of them has a different background, but they all lack families in which they can grow up like ordinary children. The nuns and teachers of the center, therefore, use love to make up for past misery, and they try their best to provide a safe, stable environment. "We take care of their daily needs, tutor them and rebuild their confidence, but no matter how much we do, we cannot take the place of their parents," said teacher Huang Su-hsin.

To make up for this loss and to provide a wholesome environment, Sister Mary Lee, the director of the center, decided to look for volunteer mothers for the children. She felt that the tolerance and kindness so characteristic of Tzu Chi members, with whom she had had some contact in Hsinchu, made them excellent candidates for this hard job, in spite of their different beliefs. In 1995, she went to the Hsinchu Liaison Office of the Tzu Chi Foundation to ask for help.

The requirements

When discussing what type of people would make good parents for these children, Sister Lee said tentatively, "I suppose a person should be married and have had a child."

"Then do you think that I can be a good mother?" asked Tseng Hai-yang, who negotiated this matter with Sister Lee.

"Of course. You look like a very good mother. You are a superb candidate!" Sister Lee nodded happily.

"But by the criteria you proposed, I am not qualified at all!"

As a result, the qualifications were based on personality and the time a person could devote to this job. Volunteer parents were found for thirteen children of elementary school age.

Injured angels

Ever since 1995, volunteer parents, selected from among Tzu Chi members in Hsinchu, have come to the center every Tuesday evening. Because each child in the center is unique, it takes an enormous effort to establish smooth relationships with them. They are injured angels who need endless care and protection to recover.

Since the turnover rate among the volunteers was rather high at first, the children did not much care to establish steady relationships with the volunteers. In order to prevent the children from being disappointed, the center reached an agreement with the Tzu Chi members requiring that once volunteers had committed themselves, there was no backing out midway and they could not be absent. Only in this way was it possible to create a steady relationship, develop rapport and practice good parenthood.

Sister Mary explained that because the children here were once abandoned, they learned to protect themselves by refusing to accept other people. Due to strong feelings of insecurity and self-defense, they tend to keep people at bay and sometimes even rebel against their volunteer parents.

"It is really hard for the Tzu Chi parents, who have taken so much time and trouble to come here, to face the children's irrational reactions," said Sister Mary. "But they never give up, and they put a lot of effort into parenting our children."

Trial

Wei-wei was only seven or eight years old when Tseng Hai-yang met him for the first time, yet he behaved like an old man. He sat there with his back hunched over, spat everywhere and constantly used foul language.

Wei-wei's parents were divorced when he was a baby. Because his stepmother did not like him, he was raised by his grandparents. Lacking contacts with other children his own age, he naturally copied the behavior of old people. Three years ago, when his grandparents could no longer take care of him, he was sent to the center.

At first Wei-wei waited for his family, especially his mother, to visit him, but then his grandfather made him believe that his mother had deserted him. After that, whenever his mother really did come to visit, he would shout at her: "Why did you come if you don't want me? Go away!" His mother would be in tears, and she gradually stopped coming. Later "Tzu Chi mother" Tseng Hai-yang became his mother.

Tseng loved children, and she envied other Tzu Chi parents for nestling children in their arms. Wei-wei would only shout at her: "What are you doing here? You are such a pain. Go away!" He would drop her hand when she tried to hold his, and he frequently asked her to leave.

Seeing that Tseng continued to fail to win Wei-wei's heart, Sister Mary felt sorry for her. She kindly reminded Tseng that Wei-wei was good at fixing electric appliances and that maybe they could talk about that some time.

One day Tseng purposely mentioned to Wei-wei: "Oh my! My rice cooker broke down. What am I going to do?"

As expected, Wei-wei's ears perked up. Assuming an air of indifference, he said coolly, "Well, you can bring it to me and I might take a look at it."

He did fix it. Strangely enough, this boy, a grade school child, knew how to fix broken clocks or radios. Having discovered this talent, Tseng often took him to recycling stations to look for broken appliances. After that, the relationship between the two became closer.

Still, there were agonizing moments. Sometimes, in a bad temper, Wei-wei would snap, "Don't ever come again!" Or he would hide and come out only after much coaxing. It seemed that he was testing Tseng to see whether she would give up just like his mother.

"I was very disappointed at the time, and I often asked myself whether it was worth continuing the relationship. If he really didn't want me to be his mother, did I need to play the game with him?" After giving it a lot of thought, she finally made up her mind. "I'm not doing this to satisfy my own sense of achievement. I'm doing it to keep him company during this stage of his life. Looking at it this way, there's no reason to complain."

So Tseng decided to change the way she treated him. One day they fought over the issue of discipline. "You have no right to discipline me. You aren't my mother! I don't want to see you anymore!" Wei-wei was in a bad temper again.

"It's no use trying to kick me away. I'll come again." This time Tseng told him seriously: "You don't need to test me anymore. I'll stay with you and take care of you, because I am your mother!"

Wei-wei remained silent for a long time. It's possible that he got this message of sincerity and persistence. Since that time, he has become gentler and does not to lose his temper as easily. Now Tseng can kiss him and hug him, and even sometimes scold him.

"I don't know how long we'll be able to stay together, but at least now I go there every week because I know he's waiting for me."

Loving discipline

Mei-mei is a ten-year-old girl from the aboriginal Atayal tribe. Her mother, who was sixteen when she gave birth to her, left home and left her with her grandmother. When Mei-mei was two years old, her grandmother died of an illness. Mei-mei thought that she was sleeping and waited beside her, but she could not wake her up no matter how hard she tried. Three days later, Sister Tsao Hsiu-jung, who always worried about this family, visited them and discovered the tragedy. She carried Mei-mei down the hill and turned her over to the nuns in the Teresa Center.

Mei-mei was too young to remember the event, but she has been afraid of the dark ever since and she does not dare sleep alone. Because of her insecurity, she always approaches visitors to get attention and affection. Despite her lovely appearance, Mei-mei needs a great deal of guidance. She has never been taken care of by real parents and she fantasizes about having a mother who gives her everything and always accepts her no matter how she behaves. But Liu Lieh-feng, her Tzu Chi mother, is different from visitors who always spoil her. She supervises her daily behavior and expects her to follow the rules.

"If I don't discipline her now, how can I take responsibility for her future?" Others can spoil Mei-mei, but as her "mother," Liu cannot.

"Initially, the atmosphere was tense each time we met. Mei-mei's indifference consumed almost all of my patience. But from her point of view, my rules were hurting her pride."

Since the insistence on rules and an occasional scolding were part of Liu's love and good will, Mei-mei gradually found that Liu was different from other visitors. She became free enough to reveal her true feelings, her joys as well as her sorrows. Knowing that Liu would not reject or desert her, there was no longer any need to please her.

Gradually, Mei-mei started to care about how Liu felt. To win her approval, she finished her homework in advance, kept herself tidy and clean, and followed the rules. In this way she developed good habits for life.

"We both know that we care about each other, so I give her plenty of leeway," Liu said gently but firmly. "She still has a long way to go, but I expect that she will continue to improve."

Learning to speak

"I - want - to - eat - cake. Repeat after me. I D want…" Tseng Hua-cheng speaks in a loud voice as Kang-kang sits beside him. Following Tseng, the boy opens his mouth wide and whispers the sentence in broken words.

The scene repeats itself every week. Sometimes they practice the same sentence for the whole evening. However, no matter how Kang-kang performs, eventually he always faces Tseng with a beaming smile and eats his cake with great gratification.

A year ago, Tseng was a volunteer driver for Tzu Chi volunteers going to the center. One day, when he arrived at the center, he saw a little boy standing silently by himself in the corner. Compared to other boisterous kids, he appeared quiet and withdrawn. This was how they first met.

The nuns at the center said that Kang-kang's father had beaten Kang-kang's cousin to death right in front of him. After that incident, the boy was so frightened that he refused to speak.

Tseng liked and sympathized with the boy, and he paid special attention to him. He found that while Kang-kang did not choose to come close to people, he did not refuse Tseng's approaches and they often sat together. Although Tseng talked to himself most of the time, "I knew he was listening and understood what I was saying."

After this continued for a while, the sisters suggested: "Since you get along well with this boy, why don't you become his Tzu Chi father?"

It had never occurred to Tseng that he could be a Tzu Chi father. He thought these children needed loving mothers and he was not that type. But the sisters said that Kang-kang's father left him with a terrible memory. If he did not have a good model to learn from, he might grow up to be a violent man just like his father. "We have to give him an opportunity to see that he can make a different kind of choice."

After thinking about it for a while, Tseng agreed to be the first volunteer father in the center. His first goal was to train Kang-kang to speak.

"I treat him as if he were a normal boy. I expect him to speak, write and communicate with others, so that he can survive in society after he grows up." Under the guidance of this strict but kindhearted father, Kang-kang is willing to talk now. However, because he has not spoken in such a long time, his vocal cords do not function well and he needs more practice.

A place to belong

It is wonderful to see that after three years, the efforts of the volunteer parents have made a great difference in the children's lives.

Every Tuesday evening at seven-thirty sharp, when the Tzu Chi van arrives at the center, thirteen children rush out and shout "Papa" or "Mama." They embrace their fathers or mothers, or hold their hands and dance around in the yard. It always takes a while for the turmoil to quiet down. Then they hug each other and enter the dining room to start the long-awaited family time.

Under the volunteer parent program, every child now has a warm home where he or she is always accepted and welcome. They will not be hurt anymore.

Children from the center were often teased at school. In the past, no matter how well they behaved, when other children ridiculed them by saying, "You have no father and mother," they had no way to respond. Now they can talk back and proclaim loudly: "I do have parents! Their names are…" "My father loves me very much. He works for…" They now live with confidence and dignity.

The well-being of the children is the first priority for the center. Besides visiting the children every Tuesday evening, the Tzu Chi volunteers attend regular training courses offered by the center, and they respect and comply with the guidelines the center has established. When caring for the children, they consider the children's future development from a rational, comprehensive point of view.

"Tzu Chi volunteers give much more than they get in return, but they do not complain," said Huang Su-shin, teacher at the center. "Because they set an example of good parenting, the children can experience tolerance and acceptance. Most importantly, the children know that they are worth loving. The whole purpose of providing companionship and maintaining expectations lies in our hope that the children will recognize their value, that they will find a place where they belong, and that they will have the ability to give and to love, like those who give to them and love them now."