My child, how can I love thee? During these 1,400 days, when each burden became sweet, the time to part has arrived quietly. But my child, I still love thee.

A student from the Tzu Chi College of Medicine had a car accident, and his lips were slightly injured. It was not serious, and the doctor quickly stitched the wound. Nevertheless, when his Yi Teh Mother heard about it, she immediately flew from Taipei to Hualien to see him. She said, "He's like my own child, so of course I would come to see him."

Members of the Tzu Cheng Fathers and Yi Teh Mothers are devoted volunteers. They are chosen by the Master, and every group of eight to ten college students has one Tzu Cheng "father" and two Yi Teh "mothers." The adults use regular meetings and occasional gatherings on holidays to assist and show their concern to these students, who came far from home to study in Hualien, so that they can adapt themselves to their new surroundings and become better people.

Although most of these adults do not live in Hualien, they still lend their hands willingly whenever the students need help or advice.

Now the students from the public health and the medical technology departments have graduated. Their fathers and mothers, who have accompanied them for four years, will have fewer children calling them "Mom" or "Dad." However, they still believe that Tzu Chi has a place in the minds of these graduates.

When the adults met the students for the first time, what they said most often was "I am grateful." And when they sang the farewell song at the graduation ceremony, what the adults wanted to say the most was "Bless you."

New Families

New students want so much to be independent when they first enter the college, but when they run into these Tzu Chi members and feel their warmth and love, they naturally become their "children." Some students also felt hesitant, thinking that they might be restricted by their new "parents."

Things are not so easy for the parents. They obtain a great deal of joy from carrying out their duties, but since their duties were assigned by Master Cheng Yen, they also worry whether they can do them well.

The Tzu Chi members firmly believe that fate brings them together with their students. Sister Li Ming-ling said that at the beginning of the first year, the fifty students in the class were divided into five groups. There were five groups of parents, with each group having one father and two mothers. Each group of parents held a different book. Each group of students then drew lots, and the title of the book they picked determined which group of parents they would follow. This somehow seemed to be predestined by fate, so everyone felt that his or her own "family" was very special.

Talking about being a mother for a group of big "kids," Sister Ming-ling said she would never forget one incident. One day, some students from the public health department were preparing to compete in a basketball game in Taipei. She took a taxi with them to buy some sports equipment. The students kept calling her "Mom." This aroused the taxi driver's curiosity and he asked, "How come you have so many kids at such a young age?"

When she had explained about the Yi Teh Mothers at the medical college, the taxi driver became excited and joined in their conversation. When Li and her "children" were getting out, the taxi driver said to them, "I'll be an 'Yi Teh Brother' and make this ride free of charge, okay?"

The students were surprised. They had heard stories about taxi drivers who would give free rides to Tzu Chi commissioners, because they admired the work that the commissioners were doing. But this time, these students personally saw the charm of an Yi Teh Mother.

Before becoming Yi Teh Mothers for the medical students, most commissioners have already been mothers for the students at the Tzu Chi Junior College of Nursing. Thus, they are quite used to being called "mother" by students. However, as Sister Hsu Li-hua observed, "The students in the nursing college and the medical college are quite different from each other with respect to age, personality and maturity. Furthermore, here we work together with the Tzu Cheng Fathers, so it took some time at the beginning for us to figure out what we should do."

As for the Tzu Cheng Fathers, most of them are already real fathers with their own families. Some of them also have experience working with the Tzu Chi Collegiate Youth Corps, so they can adapt to the role of "father" very easily. Brother Shih Chi-chih said that after spending some time with the medical students, he felt he could be either their brother or their father. They could talk about anything, enjoy ball games, go to movies or go for rides in the country. In sum, they were simply friends.

Every Family Letter Contains Warmth

Wearing a pair of black-rimmed glasses, Sister Ho Jui-chen looks very serious. Actually, she is quite outgoing. It is said that she was quite active when she was a student, and she knows quite well how young people think. When I asked her how she gets along with these students, she replied that she cared about the students' daily life, health, school work and interests, but she never nagged.

Besides meetings and phone calls, every father and mother also writes letters to the students to share good articles and ideas with them. It is clear they try hard to do their best.

Jui-chen told me that she spends an average of two nights per month writing letters to her own two children and to her eight students. She writes until three or four o'clock in the morning. Whether all her "children" write back to her is not important. She always believes that they are happy to receive her letters.

Sister Hung Jo-tsen also writes often to her "children." Her own daughter sensed how important these college students were to her mother, and she would ask jealously, "Are you writing to them again?"

Jo-tsen commented that during the first year, when the students lived in the dorm, it was inconvenient for her to phone them, since it was not easy to find them. She also felt that writing letters took up too much time. Later on, when some of the students lived off-campus, it became easier to contact them.

Li-hua builds good relationships with her "children" through communication and care. At the beginning of the school year, she routinely phones the students' parents, introduces herself to them, and leaves them her address and phone number. She hopes that she and the parents together can support the students' growth and studies.

Jo-tsen goes a step further and visits students' homes, even if the students come from the far ends of Taiwan. In this way, she can hear from the parents about the students' personalities and backgrounds. Many parents are quite concerned about how things are going with their children studying in distant Hualien. Jo-tsen's visits soothe their worries.

Beginning to Grow

In order not to give the students more pressure, Li-hua asks the students to suggest locations and times for meetings. Students naturally ask if they can go with her when she visits needy families, and they invite their own families to Tzu Chi activities.

Li-hua is delighted that students want to learn about the work of Tzu Chi commissioners. She hopes the students can regard helping other people as a natural thing to do. "I hope they can receive care from other people, so that in the future they will also take every chance to care for others. If they want to be volunteers, they don't need to come to Tzu Chi, and they don't even need to use Tzu Chi's name either. They can join other organizations, as long as they bring the spirit of Tzu Chi with them."

In addition, when Jui-chen goes back to Hualien to work as a volunteer in Tzu Chi Hospital, she invites students to go with her to visit needy patients receiving home care from the hospital. The students can gain experience from the different lives they meet in these visits.

Chi-chih also mentioned that they once went to visit a home for handicapped children. When the students saw these physically or mentally handicapped children in their beds-that is, when they were very close to the imperfection of the world-they got quite a shock.

"Visiting charity organizations can bring out the students' love," said Shih. "It allows them to realize that they can extend their hands to them if they want." When one student was trying to feed a little child, an experienced Tzu Chi member was next to him, teaching him how to do it. His hand gradually stopped shaking. When the child suddenly hugged the student, he was bewildered at first, but then he also tightly embraced the child.

Jo-tsen and Chai Peng-nien, the Tzu Cheng father of the group, also shared with the students their own experiences in participating in international disaster relief operations. They also took them to the Lesheng Leprosy Home and to bone marrow donor registration campaigns. Hung commented, "When the students grabbed armfuls of pamphlets and tried to talk about marrow donation to passersby, they realized that it wasn't easy." There are many things that are not taught in school. These things must be experienced.

Jui-chen also hopes that her students can see the world outside Tzu Chi. They visit historical sites and cultural centers such as the Tsushih Temple and the Li Mei-shu Memorial Hall. The students can see the Taiwan of an earlier time from this artist's works and how his children try to preserve their father's art.

The Tzu Cheng fathers and Yi Teh mothers feel that in the last four years they did nothing more than be with these students, and that they have received much more than they have been given. In particular, they have realized that "When parents have children, they themselves begin to grow."

Jo-tsen used to discipline her children very sternly and yell at them for every little mistake. When she became an Yi Teh mother, she realized that she was much nicer to the medical students than she was to her own children, and so she decided to change her ways.

Keeping Up with Youth

Li Ming-ling said that from her group of students, she was able to learn young people's ways of thinking, their ways of expressing themselves and their slang. When she used these expressions at home, her own children thought it incredible that an old lady like her could keep up with the times.

Ming-ling feels that today's young people are daring to express their views and form their own opinions, which were not encouraged in traditional families. Hence, the parents should try to understand them more. Even when parents have good suggestions for their children, they must express them in a reasonable way.

When I asked Ming-ling about her biggest reward in being an Yi Teh Mother, she laughed. "I only have one child, so whenever there was a birthday or something worth celebrating in the past, there was only one way of going about it. But now I have so many children, and I often see them putting their heads together and coming up with many different ways to celebrate."

More Blessings and Fewer Worries

Before graduation, Chi-chih talks with students about how to deal with other people. He feels that college students are unsophisticated, and that when they go out into the world they will run into all sorts of people. Thus, it is very important for them to be self-possessed.

Jui-chen said, "More blessings and fewer worries." These elite students are already highly blessed and they are already quite knowledgeable about current social and international situations. They should be able to make a lot of progress in our multifaceted society. However, even after the students have left the college, the adults will still be willing to share their sadness, anxiety, joy and happiness.

Jui-chen has led eight different groups of students from the nursing and the medical colleges. She feels that after students have graduated, care and concern should still be extended to them. She believes that those students who are tied to her by their predestined fate will still come back to her for guidance. Yi Teh mothers and Tzu Cheng fathers only need to do their best to keep their love flowing.

Jo-tsen collects pictures of group meetings into a file and then uses color photocopying to make a copy for each member of the group. She said that the file contains their common memories, as well as her thoughts that she wants to share with the students.