"I prefer that you slice him twenty times with knives, but don't try it even once on any patient when you become doctors."

The Tzu Chi College of Medicine is again using fourteen cadavers this semester. At the beginning of the semester, the family members of these body donors were invited to attend the ceremony at which these bodies were dedicated to their task. Before understanding the physiology of a human body through their "instructors"-these bodies-the students learned about the lives and the feelings of their "instructors" through oral descriptions from family members.

The history of each donor was pasted on the wall above the body, so that all those chilly bodies suddenly seemed warm. Their smiles and goodness lived again in the memories of their families and in the students' anatomy class, becoming an unforgettable lesson before the class had even started.

That's My Husband

She seemed to have come too early. Before the ceremony had started, she looked at the photos and the personal histories on the hallway outside the anatomy department office. These were histories written by the donors' families, so there were many memories. Because of their unusual contributions, these "body-donating bodhisattvas" attracted many people to stop and read their personal histories and look at their family or personal photos. Their vivid facial expressions became magnified in the minds of the observers.

This woman had also provided her husband's history and photos to the anatomy department, but she requested that they not be displayed, because she did not want any of their relatives to know that he had passed away.

"It will be hard on me if they find out, because I'll have to talk about it each time I'm asked." She held her familiar, unforgettable memories in her mind and refused to let other people riffle through them. I believe that in a couple of years, she will have readjusted herself to her great loss.

Her children, taller than she, were led by lab technician Chen Hung-pin into the anatomy lab to see their father again. When the door to the anatomy lab was closed behind them, she focused again on the photos. She was quiet.

"That is your...?" She answered me with her tears. As the ceremony was about to begin, there were more people in the hallway. She quietly turned to face the wall and I lightly patted her back, feeling her immeasurable sadness.

Trying to stay calm, she brushed away her tears. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to come today because my mom just passed away three days ago, and now I'm here, so I really..." She stopped for a while and continued, "That's my husband. I really want to go in to look at him, but no matter how I look at him, it will always be..." She breathed with difficulty.

"He looks very good-wonderful," the children told their mother when they came out. Soon, they all went into a chapel with other families and started chanting a sutra with the nuns. Many families again wept.

Giving Their Dearest Loves

After the ceremony, everyone entered the anatomy lab, waiting for the boxes to be opened, because that was the last chance for them to see their loved ones.

When the white cloths covering the heads of the deceased were removed by students, she stepped forward and stood together with her children before her husband. It had been hard on her to stand outside the door earlier.

Her husband's body had been treated in another county and had then been transported the long distance to the medical school. She warned the students that he didn't look very nice, but she told them not to be afraid. "He is a nice person!" What a wonderful heart to comfort the students like this!

She had read an article in the Tzu Chi Monthly magazine about medical students' reactions after their anatomy class the previous school year. She knew that they were a little frightened as well as grateful. She thus hoped to talk to the four students who would be operating on her husband, so that they would know about him and have less fear.

When another widow saw her husband, she folded her hands together and exclaimed, "You...haven't changed at all! Really! Not at all!" You would have thought they had been separated from each other for a very long time. It was as if she still remembered the person she loved so long ago, even though their hair had turned white. She kept on talking to her late husband.

Her mother-in-law had not expected her to be so emotional. She softly called her several times, attempting to bring her back to reality. "My dear, let him sleep here, just let him sleep here." It seemed that no one, except the mother-in-law, really wanted to disturb the widow who was pouring out her heart to her husband.

After a long time, family members led each other from the room, leaving behind their dearest loves to the students of the medical college.

Before Class Starts

Dr. Tseng Ying-lung agreed to her request to chat with the four students for a few minutes before the class started.

"He really liked to take us out for exciting outdoor activities. If he were your dad, you would love him very much. Also, he trusted me very much and would never ask me where I had gone to or why I got home so late."

"Whenever he went abroad, he would buy dresses for me. He had very good taste. The clothes always fit very well and looked wonderful. Guess how he bought them? He always told the store clerks my height and weight. After he picked the right dress, he would ask a clerk about my height to put it on and show it to him." When she talked about her husband, her sadness disappeared.

We could also tell that his taste was excellent just by looking at the dress she was wearing. On that day, she had on a brown dress with collar and a short black jacket. They illuminated her tall figure and she looked very good in them.

"You will get married and become someone else's husbands..." She stopped suddenly and remembered something else: "Oh, he was a good cook, but he never did the chores." She explained with a smile: "He was a workaholic and devoted himself completely to his business. We always took good care of him."

Every one of her memories was sweet, and she forgot about the time. When she mentioned her husband, every word she said indicated her pride and good fortune as his wife.

"I prefer that you slice him twenty times with knives, but don't try it even once on any patient when you become doctors," she said. "It wasn't easy to get this body here, so you must treat it nicely. When my husband was in the hospital for treatment, the doctor never seemed to care about anything my husband or I said to him. I hope that when you become doctors, you will not only treat the illness, but you will also consider the feelings of the patients and their families. Whatever you say, good or bad, a single phrase can make a big difference to the family."

"If you want to know more or if you simply want to find someone to talk to, you can phone me any time. Don't feel that you will bother me." She handed out her business card to each student, and she also wrote her home phone number on each one.

Unwillingness to Give

The traditional concept that the dead should be buried with complete bodies in order to be able to rest in peace is deeply rooted in most Chinese people's minds. Thus, every body that comes to the Tzu Chi medical college is acquired only with difficulty.

In Taiwan, the final decision as to whether or not to donate the body is made by the family of the deceased. Before this woman made her decision, she considered that if a person could feel anything after he died, he would still feel the pain whether he was bitten by insects after he was buried, or whether he was part of medical research. In comparison, the latter was more meaningful. If a person could not feel anything after he died, then there was nothing to worry about.

"I feel so peaceful after coming here. I heard that when someone is dying, his hearing is the last to go, so I told him in his ear that I wanted to donate his body. I believe that he agreed."

A Source of Pride

In the afternoon, the family members were invited to a tea room to take a break. Because they had all made the same choice, they spoke with each other freely. They consoled one another and exchanged names and phone numbers. When they were about to leave, some families stated that they would come back soon to the medical college to visit Tzu Chi and their loved ones.

Although they were sad that their relatives had suddenly passed away, these families felt it was wonderful that through this formal ceremony, they could share with others the love and generosity of their loved ones.

Human beings still have to break through ignorance, regrets and taboos while searching for the meaning of life. Nevertheless, these donors' families were able to find for themselves the path to consolation. The "body-donating bodhisattvas" not only give strength to continue the rest of our lives, but they are also a source of pride to their families.