Now I realize that pulling a handcart is the epitome of real life: you must forge ahead or you will fall back.

When I was a child, my father worked at the Wanhua train station, pulling a handcart in spite of his ill health, trying to make a little money to feed the nine mouths of our family.

During holidays or vacations, my brothers and I would take turns pushing the cart for Father, hoping to share his burden. Under the hot midsummer sun, I walked barefoot on the asphalt road, pushing the heavily laden cart forwards. My feet blistered from the burning road, and the pain it caused was so acute that tears almost sprang from my eyes. But, when I raised my head and looked at my father's figure from behind, I thought of the pain on his face the night before when his stomach trouble attacked him again. I swallowed all my sorrow and tears, and I simply kept walking step by step towards the destination.

When climbing a hill or crossing a bridge, we had to use all our strength to pull the cart, or else it would just relentlessly slide back.

Now I realize that drawing a cart is the epitome of real life: you must forge ahead or you will fall back.

My First Pair of Shoes

No money to buy shoes, no money to pay tuition, nothing to eat for lunch but cold rice gruel with salt..., this is how it was when I was in elementary school. "Destitution" was once the very word that I found most difficult to utter. Because our life was so bitter, my greatest wish was that one day every member of our household would have enough food to eat, warm clothes to wear, and good health.

My father used to suffer from serious stomachaches caused by chronic malnutrition and constant overwork. At that time, because we didn't have any money left to take him to a doctor, all we could do was turn to a traditional remedy, using a heated glass to draw out the gas in his stomach. As I pushed the cart from behind, I often saw Father in front, painfully pulling the vehicle with one hand while holding his stomach with the other, moaning and groaning.

I could not help crying. I would beg him to rest for a short while, but he would just say, "You'll have nothing to eat if I stop." To help out with the family expenses, my mother also had to do odd jobs, like reaping rice or cutting grass.

On the day I graduated from elementary school, after the ceremony was over, I hid behind a big tree. I could hear my classmates calling out my name: "Ho Teng-yao! Ho Teng-yao! Where are you? Come join us for the graduation picture!"

How I wished to be in the picture with them and have a memento of the wonderful times we had spent together. However, my pocket was empty. I could not find even one cent to pay for the photo. I felt so inferior. I tried to hold back my tears, but in vain.

"I have to make money. I have to make money. I have to make a lot of money to offer my parents a happy life." With tears rolling down my face, I promised myself that I would improve our harsh circumstances in the future.

After successfully passing the entrance examination for junior high school, I worried about having no shoes to wear to school. A military officer learned about the awkward situation we were in, so he gave me and my brothers three pairs of used rubber-soled shoes.

Wearing the first pair of shoes in my life, I was overwhelmed by the feeling of warmth from another human being. This feeling was so strong that I vowed that I would always try to do good for other people.

A Ten-Year Contract

My father, who had always fought so bravely against his lingering stomach disease, finally came down with intestinal hemorrhaging in the summer I graduated from junior high. Doctors said he had to stay in the hospital to receive proper medical treatment. This put us in an even more desperate financial situation, and there was no way that we could pay for the medical expenses. To shoulder the responsibility of taking care of the family, my brother quit Chien Kuo Senior High School [the most prestigious public high school in Taiwan] to be a pedicab driver. In order to help support the family, I also gave up my chance to go to senior high school and went into the real world to make a living.

I found a job delivering mechanical supplies for a hardware store. Rain or shine, I had to leave my house at six o'clock in the morning and drive a three-wheeled cart around Taipei for the rest of the day. It was not until half past ten at night that I could call it a day and drag my exhausted body home. However, I never thought that my work was too hard. Instead, I felt lucky because my boss gave me three meals a day for free, and for that I was sincerely grateful.

Later on, I was introduced to a stationery printing company, where I started as a delivery boy. After three years of hard work, I had mastered all the skills needed in the company. The boss began to recognize my work and entrusted me with more responsibility.

To show my gratitude to the company for having nurtured and educated me, I made a contract with myself: I promised to serve the company for ten years. Even now, I still maintain a father-son relationship with my old boss, for it is he who gave me an opportunity to grow and to acquire precious skills.

My Own Lowest Employee

In 1969, I began my military service. I had never been strong, due to years of malnutrition. In the army, however, I gradually became healthier and stronger because of the regular daily schedule and physical training. That year, I was given an award of merit by the army commander-in-chief for rating second in overall performance during the training period. This award meant a lot to me and boosted my self-confidence. Subsequently, I was chosen for an intensive training program, which was supposed to be for college students only. Among the people in the program, I had received the least schooling. But, to everyone's surprise, I did pretty well, winning first place in the practical training test and second place in the academic exam.

The many awards I received during my army service helped me get over my inferiority complex, which had been deeply ingrained since I was a child. These awards also made me truly understand the old saying: "No pain, no gain."

After I got out of the army, I set out to start my own business. Keeping in mind that "I am, and will forever be, the lowest-level employee in my own company," I did my utmost to work diligently. I never relaxed or slacked off for even a moment. I was there almost around the clock, waiting for my customers' orders, so my customers could always reach me easily whenever they needed me. Even if they only ordered a box of name cards, I would still give them my best service. Therefore, each and every dollar in my pocket represented my whole-hearted hard work.

For six years, I tried my best to broaden sources of income and reduce expenditures. Finally, I managed to accumulate some savings. With this money, my top priority was to cure my father's illness. Later, in 1978, I bought the first house in my life.

A Magic Pen

One day, I saw several children waiting in a pediatrics clinic. On their faces, I saw no trace of fear. Instead, they were fascinated by the interesting, colorful cartoons on the walls. Suddenly, it occurred to me that it might help boys and girls with their studies if they had pleasing pictures or patterns on their pens or other school supplies.

Some time later, on a trip to Japan, I found out that my idea had already been carried out for years in the Japanese market. Soon after going back to Taiwan, I started putting my idea into practice. Since no one had ever done this before in Taiwan, this new product caught on as soon as it was launched. Indeed, even a pen could do magic. It not only made my business grow dramatically, but gave me the chance to receive a government award as Most Enterprising Chinese Youth, which was really a great honor to me.

Helping Others

Having received so much in life, I began to do what I could to help those in need. Whenever I learned from newspapers or other media about people who were living in despair, hoping for a miracle to survive, I would try to support them financially to help them make it through. Furthermore, I would also tell them my story to encourage them to stand up and face their sufferings bravely, because I believe that only those who have the courage to fight against adversities in life can stand like giants in a constantly changing world.

I heard about Tzu Chi for the first time in 1986. At that time, however, I didn't spend much time learning about the organization. It was not until seven years later, in 1993, that I began to participate enthusiastically in its missions. The scenes I saw as I visited the poor reminded me of my own past. They also awakened a voice inside me: "Why keep on waiting? Now is the time for you to do good deeds."

By donating my jewelry, providing stationery for children in northern Thailand, publishing six thousand scrolls of Still Thoughts calligraphy, and helping make possible the publication of Still Thoughts-The Cartoon Version, I have learned that "true gain comes from continual giving." This was another significant turning point in my life. It confirmed that the purpose of all the trials and hardships in life was to help people to fulfill themselves.

Dharma Master Cheng Yen has taught us never to let the source of love dry up. My wife, Ting-chun, and I have pondered her words. A seed which never falls on the soil will always be nothing more than a seed. On the other hand, if it is lucky enough to drop to the ground, take root and blossom, it will produce numerous seeds of hope. Having a great interest in cultural endeavors, I have decided to take on the mission of promoting the beauty of Tzu Chi culture as a life-time career.

In June 1996, the Heart of Buddha Cultural and Art Co., Ltd., formally opened to the public. My wife and I were full-time volunteers. We hoped this small contribution would help make countless people get in touch with Buddhism and come closer to Buddha. Moreover, we wanted to carry out Master Cheng Yen's expectation that the business community could work in conjunction with the Tzu Chi missions.