Ever since I was young, I have admired and searched for a kind of wisdom that could penetrate the many mysteries of the world. I asked myself what in life is eternal and what wisdom is perfect and complete. After looking for a long time, I finally found the answer in Buddha's teachings. Life in the Collegiate Youth Corps provides a moving spiritual lesson.

(The narrator is studying for his doctoral degree at National Ching Hua University.)

In 1994, I was studying for a master's degree at National Ching Hua University. One day, one of my classmates came to tell me enthusiastically that some members of the Wisdom Bell Club (a Buddhist organization) were going to found a Tzu Chi Collegiate Youth Club, but twenty cosponsors were needed.

At that time, joining extracurricular activities was a popular way to learn outside the classroom. Members of extracurricular clubs were mainly undergraduates, and few graduate students, especially those who were studying for doctoral degrees, participated in these clubs.

I very much agreed that a social service club with the spirit of Buddha's teachings should be set up. This could provide students a chance to care for others and through this process stimulate their wisdom and develop their understanding of Buddhism. Therefore, considering myself a founder, I went to the first meeting of the Tzu Chi Collegiate Youth Club of Ching Hua University.

Unexpectedly, more than half of the cosponsors of the club were graduate students. This encouraged my interest in Tzu Chi.

If I Were He

The first off-campus activity held by the club was visiting "families of gratitude," which, for me, was a term that reflected Tzu Chi wisdom. These families, in fact, have received aid from Tzu Chi on a long-term basis. However, Tzu Chi members feel grateful to them * because of what their experiences reveal to us, we understand the bitterness and transience of life.

This way of thinking was quite different from the way I was used to thinking. Learning from other Tzu Chi members, I gradually realized that by acting in the spirit of love and by being grateful for the opportunity to care for others time after time, the spirit of sacrifice will naturally become a habit.

Another important activity of the club was visiting a children's rehabilitation center. The first time I visited, I really did not know what to say when I saw the retarded children. There were a string of questions in my mind: Where would these children be tomorrow? For them, what is the meaning of life?

Talking and playing with the children, I gradually understood that, like other people, they had thoughts and feelings and could sense compassion from people around them. Just a few hours might not help them much, but I received the happy message of their joyful play, and that made me understand the importance of the Buddha's words: "Maintain a good relationship with others."

On the other hand, I was often engaged in deep thought about my own situation in life. In this world, material objects are formed and phenomena arise. Things exist for a while and then decline and disappear into nothingness. For human beings, this process meant that birth would be followed by aging, illness and death, all proceeding at a speed that could not be altered. So, one day when I was old and sick, would I be any better off than these children were now?

Thinking again of those questions, my memory also went back to the time I began to learn Buddhist teachings as an undergraduate. From a young age, I had admired and searched for a kind of wisdom that could penetrate the many mysteries of life. I often asked myself what in life is eternal and what wisdom is perfect and complete. After I started studying for my doctoral degree, a classmate saw me studying Buddhist sutras all the time, so he suggested that I join a Buddhist extracurricular club. At that time, I thought those impetuous undergraduates did not even have any life experience, so how could they have an understanding of the sutras?

Wisdom and Arrogance

When my classmate brought me to a Buddhist ceremony, I saw Buddhist believers saluting the Master and the statue of Buddha by prostrating themselves in front of them. But I could not even bend down.

My classmate told me in a very normal tone, "This is arrogance."

Inside I was still filled with self-righteous doubt. "It is okay to pay one's respect to Buddha in one's heart. How come one must prostrate oneself in this way? Besides I am nice to people all the time. I am not arrogant."

Studying science, I always believed that everyone is equal in front of the truth. I insisted on "truth" so much that I often failed to consider others. In seminars, I frequently argued heatedly with my professors on the proofs of formulas. Whenever I heard a point of view I did not agree with, I could not help arguing about it. Now I can see clearly that I really was very arrogant.

Think, Search and Change

Since I am interested in the study of philosophy, entering the sea of Buddha's wisdom has moved me deeply. The most pitiful human beings in the world are not those who are materially poor or unsuccessful in their jobs, but those who are ignorant.

Being human, one should ask oneself what the essence of life is and what the meaning and goal of life are. Ever since my university days, my classmates have been bothered by the questions that I asked about life. "How can you always ask questions that have no answers?" "Don't you get tired of thinking such deep thoughts every day?"

I asked them in return, "How can you bear to lead a life without thinking?"

Confucius taught his disciples, "Learning without thinking is confusing, and thinking without learning is dangerous." I tried to follow this advice in my search for wisdom. After looking for so long, I finally found the answer in Buddha's teachings.

Now, whenever someone suggests I make any improvement, I look at my mind first, accept the good advice and make immediate corrections. I finally understand the theory of controlling one's mind.

Being human, learning Buddhist teaching, and cultivating one's morality are the three most precious things of life.

Buddhist teaching is a wisdom of life. Taking part in the activities of the Tzu Chi Collegiate Youth Club is one way to cultivate this wisdom. As a member of the club, I have a precious chance to work with Tzu Chi and to make many friends in this endeavor.

Growing Through Difficulties

As a staff member of the Collegiate Youth Club, I find that adversity is unavoidable, whether it is interpersonal problems or unfortunate situations. When a problem arises, one should examine oneself with the knowledge that it is easy to take the first step, but difficult to keep on the path to wisdom. If one could make a breakthrough and become constantly mindful, there would be immense changes in one's view of life, state of mind, and attitude towards everyday situations.

Developing mindfulness might be a long, arduous process, but no growth comes easily. The importance of developing one's attitude toward life is not to align one's views with those of others, but to find worthy goals in life.

I Have Received More Than I Have Given

At the moment, Taiwan is developing rapidly, its economy and technology change with each passing day, and every trade and social group has its own traits. Nevertheless, to have a tender heart and to embody the spirit of social service is a common wish.

Tzu Chi works to elevate the spiritual culture of society, create faith on the island of Taiwan, and sow the seeds of love in every corner of the world. Sowing and cultivating love, however, is not an easy thing to do and requires long-term effort.

At first, when I took part in charity activities, I felt that I was giving something. But after spending two years in the Tzu Chi Collegiate Youth Club, I have begun to realize that what I have gained in wisdom far exceeded what I have given out. I have given my time and energy, and in return I have enriched my spiritual life.

I often read the phrase "sacrifice enjoyment and enjoy sacrifice." I did not know what it really meant. I even thought that it was written merely for the sake of rhetoric. Having taken part in the youth club's activities, I have started to understand that there is much wisdom that one cannot learn from books. It is only through interacting lovingly with other human beings that spiritual wisdom can be found.

I thank Master Cheng Yen for founding Tzu Chi and giving me the opportunity to make friends with Tzu Chi members. I have gained many valuable experiences in this phase of study and learned things which could not be taught by books.