My dad had little schooling. Before he turned 46, he worked hard for his family, wife and children. After his heart attack, the bodhisattvas extended his life for another year and eight months, allowing him to do good and to repent. For the two years after he joined Tzu Chi, his life was much happier than before. It seemed that his whole life was in preparation for these two years. My dad used to say, "Where there's a will, there's a way." I fully believe that we will meet again. He would be determined to rejoin Tzu Chi and to strive for the beauty and good of mankind.

One day I felt very uneasy and restless, but I didn't expect anything unusual when I called home. The voice at the other end said, "Your dad has passed away, please come home quickly."

Was it true? He was very much alive and talking yesterday. How could he be in the other world today? Despite my efforts to control my grief, tears rolled down my cheeks.

My Dad

My dad turned 48 years old this year. He was tall and robust, and he had been accredited as a member of the Tzu Cheng Faith Corps for less than half a year. Before the age of 46, he worked hard for his family. In July of his 46th year, he had a heart attack and was admitted to the intensive care unit. After only two weeks of therapy, he was discharged from the hospital. He used to say that because the Buddha had extended his life, he had to redouble his efforts to do more good and cultivate himself morally.

The Buddha extended his life for a year and eight months, giving him the chance to do good and to repent. It seemed that his whole life had been spent in preparation for his last two years. His deeds of these two years were enough to fix him in people's memory.

Good Seeds

About two years ago, my dad finally fulfilled his wish to make a tour of Tzu Chi. On his way back, several Tzu Chi sisters, looking at his tall, robust build, said he looked like a giant guardian deity. They added that it would be a pity if he couldn't join the Tzu Cheng Faith Corps. This strengthened his decision to join Tzu Chi's ranks.

With the introduction of those women, my dad joined the Tzu Cheng Faith Corps. After the completion of his training course, my dad was sent to the intensive care ward due to his heart condition, which almost killed him this time. Following this experience, he truly understood that life was impermanent. After an operation, my dad decided to become a vegetarian and to do more good works. Two weeks later, he was again discharged from the hospital.

From then on, Tzu Chi became my dad's business. He followed both the Buddha and Master Cheng Yen in their resolve to do good.

Giving Everything to Others

My dad used to sigh that because he had high blood pressure and heart problems, he couldn't donate his marrow to others. He often told his family members that he would donate his body for medical research after his death.

He often said playfully, "To donate a body is nothing more than making the best use of the waste." To him, donating the body was like recycling resources. He adamantly insisted on donating his body, and he was fearless in facing death.

After my dad passed away, my mother, brother, sister and I agonized over whether to donate the body and how the hospital would handle the body. When we decided to donate the body, our elder relatives criticized and scolded us.

There are three categories of giving on the Path of the Bodhisattvas: the lowest category-giving food and coarse items; the middle category-giving clothes or precious articles; and the highest category - giving our bodies. This shows that the donation of the body is the greatest form of charity.

Do You Remember Our Appointment?

By Li Shu-hui
Translated by Chen Ping

Life is but a long obstacle race. Some people make efforts from the very beginning to prepare for their last dash. Some people, who have been obstructed by hurdles fall at midway. Most people yearn for applause, yet some always exit before the applause.

Bravery, accommodation, sociability and generosity are all words that describe Brother Kao Ping-huang. To help raise funds for building Tzu Chi's Disabled Children's Rehabilitation Center, Brother Kao resolved to sell vegetarian Chinese dumplings at the Dragon Boat Festival. Unfortunately, he was struck suddenly by a heart attack while he was setting up the booth. On June 3, he quietly passed away.

Little Moves, Big Change

He was once a strict father. "In my childhood, I was awfully scared of my dad," his oldest son said. "If I didn't behave myself, I would be thrashed. But after he joined Tzu Chi, there was a big change. It seemed that his whole life was just for these two years." (Kao was a member of Tzu Chi for the last two years of his life.)

Kao became more gentle after he joined the Tzu Cheng Faith Corps. Little gestures suffice to testify to the magnitude of this change. For instance, he would pat his son's shoulder, which overwhelmed his son. This little gesture showed a father's care for his son and also closed the gap between them.

Kao's brother-in-law also recalled a conversation with him. "It is very difficult to attain the state of selflessness of Buddhism. Why did you join Tzu Chi?"

"If you want to learn, learn from the best," Kao answered.

A man's buddha-nature is usually derived from his human nature. What kind of life did Kao have before he became the "Brother Kao" among the Tzu Chi brothers and sisters?

Good Communication, Good Words

A quick temper was once Brother Kao's trademark. One day years ago, his son playfully cut off the TV plug. The moment Kao returned home from work and discovered it, he picked up the TV set and threw it on the floor. This shocked the child, who trembled in his mother's arms. She didn't know how to handle the situation either.

"I was a silent woman. Sometimes, I wouldn't say a word after he had nagged me for two or three hours . Several times, my heart was filled with hatred and I thought I would like to take a knife..."

"Actually, I was also wrong," she sighed. "If I would have just asked him what was wrong and said a few good words, everything would have been okay." After some soul-searching, she said communication was a critical bridge between a couple.

What became of Kao after his conversion?

"He would drive me home after work, and he would practice sign language while waiting for me," Mrs. Kao said. "Once he couldn't pick me up because he was busy. When he got home and found me lying on the sofa, he knew I hadn't eaten yet. So he cooked supper and invited me to eat it while it was hot."

Fake Member, Real Guardian Deity

While Kao was in the training program for the Tzu Cheng Faith Corps about two years ago, he suddenly had a heart attack. In the intensive care unit, he insisted that he could not leave the world without getting a Tzu Cheng Corps membership card. Later, he believed his life had been given to him by the Buddha, and so he did his utmost for Tzu Chi.

There is a story about Kao's visit to the Tzu Chi General Hospital in Hualien, before joining Tzu Chi. When he toured the hospital in the company of Sister Huang Jih-ching, a Tzu Chi member asked him, "Brother, which corps unit do you belong to? Why didn't you put on your uniform today?" He was puzzled and asked in a low voice, "Sister Huang, do I look like a member of the corps?" As he was leaving, he ran into that same member again. She told him, "Don't forget to put on your uniform next time!"

The second time he visited Hualien, another member demanded, "Brother, which corps unit do you belong to? Why aren't you in your uniform?" It seemed that people were predicting he would become a member of the Tzu Cheng Faith Corps.

Kao asked Sister Huang playfully, "Do I really look like a member of the corps?" "You certainly do," she replied. "Don't you want to be a member?" Shortly after, Kao joined the corps.

After that, he cherished each day his life had been extended by the Buddha. He did all sorts of Tzu Chi assignments with all his might. He used his house as collateral to buy a car for transporting Tzu Chi members, because he felt that Tzu Chi's work could not be put on hold.

Quick Temper, Gentle Heart

Sister Yang used the words "diligent and frugal" to describe Brother Kao. But he was also known for his temper. Sister Yang once asked him why he was so quick-tempered. "You don't know," he replied. "When you feel hungry after a day's hard work and you find that dinner isn't ready when you get home , hunger will drive you mad."

Filial piety was also one of Kao's virtues. When his father was sick, Kao took care of him at home. When he got home after work, the first question he would ask was, "Has Dad had his meal?" If the answer was negative, he would become angry. "It's okay if I don't eat, but not my father!"

Whenever any of his brothers or sisters was short of money, he would give them all his cash. Despite his quick temper, Kao was still a gentle, amiable person.

Good Cook, Skilled Chef

Kao knew that a guardian deity shouldn't get angry, nor should he even appear to be angry. One midnight, when his two daughters were talking loudly, he walked in. They thought they were in big trouble. Yet he said softly to his stunned daughters, "It's very late now, so don't talk so loud and go to bed quickly." They were surprised and felt their daddy had changed. They were also afraid, since this had never happened before.

"Except for his quick temper, my daddy was a gentle person," his older daughter said tearfully." When he was alive, we could get whatever we wanted."

After recuperating from his heart attack, Kao gave up his career of over 20 years as a bus driver and devoted himself to working for Tzu Chi. He also took over the housework. His wife then managed their family finances. At times, he would invite Tzu Chi members to have a taste of his favorite snacks, such as fried rice noodles, fried rice and boiled noodles. His dishes usually drew hearty applause.

At times, he would help his wife do some women's work. His wife would sometimes make clothes for extra income. With his help, the quantity of finished products doubled.

Life's Gone, Footprints Remain

"You've got to be wrong!" Sister Wang Pao-chu exclaimed upon learning of Brother Kao's death. She fell to the floor in tears.

"We loved him the most! When we went together to feed the elderly at the Kuang Tzu Hospital, he would get up at four o'clock in the morning and drive all the Tzu Chi people there. Sometimes, there were three or four activities a day, and he would still gladly provide service for us." His death was especially heart-breaking for Sister Wang, whose own father and son had already passed away.

Brother Lai, who joined the Tzu Cheng Faith Corps together with Brother Kao, said in tears, "No matter whether we were working in the bone marrow donation program, cleaning up hilly areas, or doing volunteer work in the hospital in Hualien, Brother Kao was always very zealous."

At Kao's memorial service, Brother Fu dolefully talked about him. "He was good-hearted and had a number of friends. He did his job wholeheartedly, whether it was a memorial service, the chanting of Amitabha's name for the dead, or setting up sound equipment for a service." The footprints of Brother Kao's selfless devotion have remained despite his death.

Tzu Chi members have many sentimental recollections about him:

"My first impression when I entered his house was one of meagerness. He didn't want to spend money to fix his leaking roof, yet he provided so much for Tzu Chi activities. It was really touching!"

"When we both served in the kitchen division, we had to prepare meals for four or five thousand people, and we had to continuously fill the big pot with food."

"He never rejected any mission. He treated all people equally. If any Tzu Chi brother or sister needed his services, he was always on call."

"He was very polite and had a gentle nature."

Although Brother Kao is no longer able to hear these praises, those who hear them recall him fondly and are saddened at his loss.

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