The sixth difficulty is the difficulty in controlling the desires of the senses. "Desire" does not refer to the sexual desire between men and women. Instead, it refers to the desires that arise from all our senses: our hearing, sight, smell, taste, touch and thought.

The "control" in this difficulty refers to mental control. For example, if you see something very beautiful but do not control your mind, you will want to possess it, properly or improperly. Although properly receiving something involves the cheerful giving of other people, it also stems from the desire that arises when we see things. On the other hand, some people want things they should not own. They are clearly aware that they should not take those items, but they still desire to do so. Once their desires rise up beyond control, these people will break any precepts or laws. This is the difficulty in controlling the desires of the senses.

It Is Difficult Not to Take Whatever You Want

I remember a sad story that happened years ago. A mother had two daughters. She loved them dearly, and their family life was wonderful. Later the older daughter got married and her mother provided a large dowry.

The husband, a civil servant, was not as rich as his wife's family, and he lived in a rented apartment. After they were married, the young wife still desired to live the same luxurious lifestyle as before, and she could not adjust to their tight financial situation. She constantly complained to her husband that she was ashamed of their living conditions. She hoped that he would soon buy a beautiful home, but he could not afford one. The wife regularly went back to her mother to ask for various items, and her mother agreed to all her requests, giving her whatever she wanted.

The husband was a person of good character, and every month he would hand over to her his entire salary, to the last penny. Although they had tightened their budget, they still could not save up enough money to buy a place of their own. She was very unhappy whenever she thought that other people owned their own homes while hers was rented. Even though she did not have enough money, she constantly went to look at houses for sale.

Greed Destroys the Dream

One day she told her mother, "I saw a house for about NT$2 million [US$40,000], and I want to buy it."

Her mother asked her, "How much money do you have ?"

She replied, "Around $200,000."

Her mother tried her best to persuade her to change her mind, but it was futile.

For several years she was always busy going out to look at homes, hoping to buy one. Whenever a new one was built, she would go to see it. She always wanted to buy one, but it was always beyond her means. Twelve years after their marriage, she saw a very beautiful unit in Taipei for $3.8 million. It was very attractive indeed, and she became totally infatuated with it. She went to see her mother every day, nagging her to lend her $2 million.

Her mother said, "I don't have any problem lending you the money, but where are you going to get the rest?"

She said, "I can get a loan."

Her mother asked pointedly, "Do you have enough money to make the monthly payments?"

Actually, her husband's salary was not enough, so her mother suggested that she calm down and not think about it."

However, she could not control her desire and even blamed her mother for not being willing to help her. She broke off relations with her mother and even had a nasty dispute with her sister too.

After this, she turned and poured out her anger on her husband. Every day she nagged him for being useless and unable to give her what she wanted. Pushed by her constant badgering, he began to accept bribes. Before he even got the money, he was caught and jailed.

Did her craving stop because of this? No, it became worse. She even told her son to shoplift goods from department stores. One day while he was trying to steal some expensive pens in a bookstore, he was caught and sent to a juvenile institution. Now the young wife only had a thirteen-year-old daughter left, whom she insanely scolded and mistreated. One day after school, this daughter was crying on the way home. She was hit by a car and was killed instantly. All by herself, with absolutely nothing left, the woman had a nervous breakdown.

This tragedy involved the whole family. Because of this wife's irrational desires, her daughter's life was cut off. To satisfy her craving, her husband became a corrupt official, and we do not know how long he will have to stay behind bars. She led her son to steal, and now he is also locked up and his future is ruined. Finally, she herself became mentally deranged. All of this was caused by her inability to control the desires of her senses!

Therefore, Buddha said to us, "It is difficult to control the desires of the senses." How many lives and families have been ruined because of something like this? Poor people!

Contentment Brings Abiding Joy

Buddha taught us that we must have correct views about all material things and passions in this world. If we are always reasonable, we can have correct perspectives about the taking and giving of all things. We can keep things that we are entitled to have and give the rest to others. On the other hand, we should not take things that we don't deserve to have. We have to control our minds, then we will not go wrong.