When night has fallen and the day's work is done, almost everyone in the city rushes home with weary feet. There is one person who goes to the hospital after a hard workday instead. She has been keeping cancer patients company for four years. This is not her regular job, but her mission. Following is the story of a palliative care volunteer worker.

In July 1992, Sister Pretty Chang was taking care of her sick father in the hospital. Thinking of Master Cheng Yen's words that Tzu Chi members should spread the seeds of love to every corner of the world, she began to take care of other patients in the hospital.

At first, Pretty took care of the patients nearest to her. However, when she saw a throat cancer patient who could not speak but could only stare at her with his helpless eyes, she was shocked. From that time on, she was determined to be a palliative care volunteer worker for cancer patients.

The Role of a Palliative Care Volunteer

Palliative care requires teamwork. Volunteer workers, doctors, nurses and family members are indispensable. A palliative care worker is also like a bridge which connects patients to their families as well as to medical personnel. Sometimes volunteer workers are like the third hands of the nurses. In addition to such basic nursing skills as feeding and washing, it is extremely important for volunteer workers to play a supportive role in the patient's life by providing companionship and a sympathetic ear, and by helping the patients to realize their final dreams. A palliative care worker is a garbage can which has to accommodate the joy, sadness, anger, and happiness that cancer patients express.

This is exactly what a palliative care worker should do for cancer patients. With years of experience in palliative care, Pretty thinks that a palliative care worker should possess such essential qualities as sensitivity, patience and a sense of humor. Pretty said, "We have to treat these patients with compassion as if they were our relatives and constantly remind ourselves to treat these patients as we ourselves would want to be treated in the same situation."

In four years, Pretty has taken care of more than 30 cancer patients. She establishes friendships with patients and their families on the basis of mutual trust. This is why she is able to do palliative care work in a very natural way. For example, she often stays the whole night by the bedside of a patient who just had surgery. She cooks for patients to encourage them to eat. She has rushed at midnight to the home of a patient who had just passed away. She willingly stays with patients' children during holidays. She has flown back and forth between Taipei and southern Taiwan to accompany patients to the last moment of their life journeys.

Opening a Patient's Heart

The feelings of cancer patients are quite complicated. Although there is no cure for them, most of them are anxious to live longer to realize their unfulfilled wishes, even though they suffer from the pain caused by the spreading of the cancer cells. Because these struggles are hidden deep within, cancer patients need more loving care than other patients. Actually, each one of them is very eager to be cared for and loved, and only needs a sincere person who can feel their sorrows and regrets with them.

Pretty recalls one patient, Mr. King from Vietnam. He went through the ups and downs of life, getting married and divorced, being involved in the underworld, being addicted to alcohol, and engaging in smuggling. In the end, when King got cancer, he was alone in his own world. He didn't want to take a bath or talk to anyone. One time, he was trying with great difficulty to walk to the restroom. Pretty stood by him and wanted to offer help, but he told her coldly that he was okay.

Pretty didn't give up on him. She kept visiting him and trying to talk to him. Gradually, King was willing to let people help him take a bath and wash his hair. He began to smile and talk to others. His hatred toward the world faded. When the day came, he died peacefully.

How deeply others trust you depends on how sincerely you treat them. Pretty recalls that there was another cancer patient, Mr. Wang, who became addicted to alcohol after he checked out of the hospital. Wang's behavior caused himself and his family great pain. As soon as Pretty heard of this situation, she decided to make a surprise visit. After she met him, Pretty invited him to take a walk and have a talk with her. Finally, Wang revealed all the negative emotions which he would never express to his family members.

Some time later, Wang helped a doctor take care of some mice used for a lab experiment. When the experiment was done, the doctor wanted to destroy all the mice. Instead, Wang took all the mice home. "His illness inspired his compassion for others," said Pretty.

In order to take care of patients' needs, Pretty also pays attention to their sexual desires, which seems to be taboo in the treatment of cancer patients. She said that it is very natural for someone to have sexual desires. Volunteer workers should hold the right attitude on this matter.

One of Pretty's cancer patients was very dispirited because he hadn't had sex for a long time. Pretty talked to his doctor and learned that cancer is not contagious and that as long as the patient does not have a heart problem, sex will not endanger the patient's life. Pretty talked to the patient's wife. A few days later, when Pretty visited the patient again, his face looked much more relaxed.

"A volunteer worker should give a patient what he needs, not something you want to give," Pretty said.

Patients Are Buddhas

Pretty used to worship Buddha in the temples, but now she devotes all her time to Tzu Chi and cancer patients. Although she doesn't have much time left for temple ceremonies, Pretty said that she is now serving Buddha in the hospital. "Every patient is a buddha to me. Only by making them happy can I have a chance to become a bodhisattva."

What Pretty has learned after meeting so many cancer patients is that "one can never trade health and happiness for great achievements, no matter how splendid they are." Pretty found that every patient worried deeply about his family and children and their future, but had little interest in wealth and fame.

Too many worries make people fear death. Therefore, Pretty thinks that every volunteer worker should hold the right attitude toward death, or else he can never guide the patients and their families to let go of their attachments to worldly affairs. Pretty has drawn up her will and tells her family to face death without fear. "If you understand what death is and face it head on, then you will never fear it."

Pretty has her own approach to death. "Someone said that life is like a piece of blank canvas, and you have to give it some colors. However, some people die before they have a chance to draw on the canvas. For me, my canvas was dyed black before I could paint on it. Now I can only paste some colored paper on it to make it a beautiful and colorful canvas." The cancer patients are like the pieces of paper that bring cheer and beauty to Pretty's canvas.

Fate Brings People Together

What Pretty has been doing has brought a joyful atmosphere to the cancer wards. Patients have begun to show concern for each other. Some nurses even stay in the hospital after work just to help wash patients. Doctors "report" to Pretty if they find any patients who do not have family members to take care of them.

Doctors are so touched to see that Pretty takes care of patients as if they were her own relatives. "We see the spirit of Tzu Chi in you," they say. Some family members of cancer patients have been inspired by her example. Some have become Tzu Chi members, and some have even become palliative care volunteers themselves.

She is not only kind to cancer patients, but also to everyone around her. At noon, she knocks on doctors' doors and reminds them to take a lunch break. She often buys extra food when she goes out for lunch and delivers it to those who are too busy to eat. Her kindness has made her a popular person wherever she goes.

How could Pretty share her love equally with every one? "Fate brings us together. No matter who we may meet, we should cherish the opportunity to give unselfishly."

Could anyone ever imagine that this gentle, careful woman was once an alcoholic? At the age of 18, Pretty was forced to work as a bar girl in order to pay her family's debts. She gradually became addicted to alcohol. At her lowest point she could not even hold up a teacup. If someone brought her a bowl of rice, she thought it was a bowl of white worms.

This lifestyle ended when she met one particular Tzu Chi member. Sister Chin-hua recalls the first time she took Pretty to Hualien to see Master Cheng Yen. "She wore a miniskirt and put on very thick makeup. When Master Cheng Yen was speaking, she lit up a cigarette." Pretty is embarrassed and regretful every time someone mentions this incident.

As soon as Pretty decided to join Tzu Chi, she quit drinking and smoking. She recollects, "When I felt like drinking and smoking, I just ran into a seafood restaurant nearby to smell the wine and the second-hand smoke." However, amazing willpower has turned her into a sincere Buddhist and a diligent Tzu Chi member whose only concern is helping others without asking for anything in return.

Pretty believes that people have many lives in different realms. "I am not afraid to go to hell in my next life. If I go there, I will continue to help all the suffering creatures there."

We asked Pretty Chang what she wanted to do most if she were reborn into this world. "I want to be a Buddhist nun," she replied without hesitating. "One must create a lot of good karma to be a nun in one's next life. Therefore, I have to do many good deeds this life."