He got drunk almost every day to be sociable. This "wine hero" of the business world drank nearly a 20-foot container-load of grape wine each year. Once he encountered the fearless spirit of Dharma Master Cheng Yen, he resolved to quit drinking, become a vegetarian and participate actively in disaster relief work. Brother Chin-fa Chen's story shows a Tzu Chi member's spirit of perseverance, and also indicates the merciful and compassionate heart that a disciple of Buddhism should possess.

Addicted to Alcohol

I created my own business bare-handed. I thought it was necessary to have social relationships to do business. Because of that mistaken notion, I did everything I could to please my customers. In so doing, I became addicted to alcohol. I left home early every morning and came back very late at night, smelling of alcohol. My wife could do nothing about it. She understood how hard it was to earn a living.

Discovering Tzu Chi

In March 1994, my mother-in-law became very ill. It seemed that her only desire in life (to visit Dharma Master Cheng Yen at the Abode of Still Thoughts) could not be fulfilled. She asked her children to donate to Tzu Chi all the money and jewelry she had saved in her thrifty life.

Thanks to arrangements made by Tzu Chi brothers and sisters, Master Cheng Yen came to the hospital to see my mother-in-law just two days before she passed away. At that time, I had stay outside because there were too many visitors in the ward. Although I didn't hear what the Master said, I was impressed by her easygoing character.

After my mother-in-law died, my wife decided to fulfill her mother's hope by following the Tzu Chi brothers and sisters on the Path of the Bodhisattvas. On September 25, 1994, I went with my wife to a meeting in Hualien. I had gotten drunk the previous night. When I prostrated myself in front of the Master, I suddenly remembered one of the precepts of Buddhism: no drinking. It made me really embarrassed to visit such a respectable Master with the smell of alcohol on my body and on my breath. Prostrate in front of her, I held my breath. "Bless you, Amitabha!" said the Master without a blink or frown. She even gave me an invitation: "Our College of Medicine will have its opening ceremony next month. We need help and support from entrepreneurs like you. I hope you will be able to come to the reception."

Later on I visited the Tzu Chi Hospital. On the second floor of the hospital, I met the Master again. She pointed to a group of brothers working there and said, "There are many company presidents in the Tzu Cheng Faith Corps." They wore simple clothes and squatted there working. I was a president of a company, too, but I just stood there and watched. I felt a bit embarrassed. Although I had a strong impulse to join them, I didn't move. However, I started to think: How hard had the Master struggled to turn a piece of desolate land into this modern hospital we see today?

What Have I Done in the Past 10 Years?

A Buddhist nun, with nothing but a great commitment to help the poor, could conquer all kinds of difficulties and lead her followers to accomplish their missions! All of this had a strong impact on me, a person who was always proud of himself for having bare-handedly created a successful business. "What have I achieved in the past 10 years?" I asked the question again and again. Except for emptying countless bottles of wine, I didn't seem to have accomplished anything. The more I thought, the more frightened and ashamed of myself I became.

On the flight back to Taipei, I sat by a window. It was a fine day. The setting sun was beautiful. Looking at the Pacific Ocean, I wondered what I should do to make the rest of my life more meaningful. "Tonight I only want vegetarian food," I nudged my wife sitting beside me. She didn't make any reaction. She probably didn't believe her ears. In her heart, she must have thought, "If there is no fish or pork at each meal, you nag me to death. It's impossible for you to have only vegetables!"

That night I really ate only vegetables. Even though I had not yet made any vow to quit drinking, I didn't touch alcohol that night because I wasn't in the mood to drink. My whole heart pondered, "What have I done in the past 10 years?" The only images in my mind were wine bottles. I recalled the Master's words: "There is a glass of wine on the table. If you don't take it and drink it, it won't come to your mouth by itself." I couldn't drink anymore.

No One Believes I Want to Quit Drinking

At noon the following day, I asked a girl in my company to buy a vegetarian box lunch for me. Confused, she asked me, "Sir, your father's birthday just passed and it's not your mother's birthday today. Why do you want a vegetarian box lunch?" She was so doubtful because in the past I had only had vegetarian food three days a year, on the first day of the lunar new year and on my parents' birthdays. I said to her again emphatically, "From now on, I will eat only vegetarian food. Please buy vegetarian box lunches for me from now on." She went out shaking her head.

When I came home that evening, something unimaginable happened. I said to my wife, "Starting from today, I quit drinking." She ignored what I said. Perhaps in her heart she was murmuring, "No drinking over dinner! Will you be able to fall asleep tonight?"

Seeing me sitting at the dinner table, my filial son rushed down to the cellar to fetch a bottle of wine for me. He said, "Papa, this bottle of red wine was imported from France. It's a famous and expensive one." Just as he was about to open it, I said to him, "Papa isn't going to drink today." He considerately replied, "Did you catch a cold today, Papa?"

You can see how "successful" I had been in drinking! I ate less than 20 bowls of rice in a whole year because I usually had wine instead of rice. My family thought I was sick that day since I wasn't drinking. Wasn't that ironic? However, ever since that day I have not had even one drop of wine.

I Vow to Participate in International Relief

Later, when the Master came to the Taipei Branch Office, I confessed to her, "It is very regrettable that I came to know Tzu Chi so late. I hope that from now on I will follow in your steps and walk on the road of Tzu Chi."

The Master said, "Tzu Chi's Path of the Bodhisattvas is like the track in a stadium. It is round. It doesn't matter when you join us or where you start, just so long as you are determined to catch up." She encouraged me to take part in international relief work. It is true that "determination gives strength." After several setbacks, I was finally allowed to join a relief team to Cambodia, a country which was very strange to me.

Experiencing the Sufferings of Another Nation

During the relief mission to Cambodia, I experienced much suffering, both in myself and in the people. On November 30, 1994, when I made my first trip to Cambodia, I was infected with cellulitis. My legs were swollen as large as elephant legs. I came back to Taiwan ten days later and was hospitalized immediately. I suffered a lot at that time. That was my own experience of suffering.

The people of Cambodia had suffered both war and natural disasters. By observing the different facial expressions of the victims, we could tell what kind of suffering each had experienced. The victims of the floods and droughts still showed hope in their eyes, whereas the war refugees showed fear. They were afraid that a shell might come down and kill them while they were receiving the aid donations. Even after the war is over, the scars left in the minds of survivors will never be erased.

There was a woman holding a two-month-old baby to her chest, covered with a piece of cloth. Through the interpreter, we learned that the baby was already dead of hunger or heat. However, the woman still stood in the line. She said, "The dead one is gone, but I have six hungry children at home. If I don't bring the rice back, they will all die. The rice is our only hope."

At a refugee village in Cambodia, I heard that there had been a family of 14 members. Both the husband and wife were sick. Because they had no money to see a doctor, the woman cooked a pot of poisoned fish soup. After drinking it, thirteen family members died. The only survivor was a little girl who was playing with her neighbors. After hearing that story, I stood in the broken hut for a long while, staring at that pot in which the poisoned soup had been cooked. Then I ran out of that hut and wept under a coconut tree. I had seldom cried before. One time when my son didn't want to study, I was worried that nobody would carry on my business and I shed a few tears of "small love."

Since I visited Cambodia, I have repented of my past folly and am grateful for what I am now. I have conquered my psychological barriers, opened my mind, and learned to be humble.

Let's Quit Drinking, Friends!

Even though I still have social relationships for my business now, I insist on drinking no alcohol. All the employees in my company have been influenced by me. They work harder and perform better. As for those drinking friends, after I refused them a few times, they no longer came to me. It proved that in the past, nine times out of ten, I drank because I loved to drink. Sociability was only an excuse.

Epilogue