Kun-shan Hsieh, a healthy young man, lost both arms and a leg in an accident. He did not complain about what he had lost. On the contrary, he thought calmly about what he still possessed. He learned to paint with a brush in his mouth. With his zest for life concentrated on the canvas, he challenged his creativity again and again.

Kun-shan Hsieh woke up with a dry throat. Dizzily lying on his bed, he tried to reach the teacup on the table. All of a sudden, he realized that the two hands that had been with him for 16 years were no longer there.

Only One Leg Left

Kun-shan still remembers that he was moving some steel tubes in a factory. Unexpectedly, the tubes he was holding touched a high voltage wire. The tubes and his body all absorbed the force of the electricity, and Kun-shan lost consciousness.

Although he survived the accident, his two arms and right leg were amputated. Furthermore, he lost sight in his right eye. In other people's eyes, he looked more terrible than a monster.

He woke up to find many people around him. He caught sight of his mother standing beside his bed. He could see the tear stains still on her face.

Outside the ward, relatives were whispering to one another.

"He might as well die. He could be a big burden later."

"How horrible! Without arms and a leg, he looks like a monster."

"Even though they saved him, who's going to look after him for the rest of his life?"

It was already a heavy blow to a healthy young man who had suddenly became disabled. To a family that could hardly make ends meet, the sudden burden of tremendous hospital expenses only added to their agony. What was worse, the factory owner, unable to make any compensation, ran away. Considering the financial problems, the visiting friends and relatives advised his parents to abandon him so that they wouldn't have to bear a perpetual burden later.

However, Kun-shan heard his mother tell the doctors, nurses and all the relatives present: "Please do your best to save my son. It will be enough if he can live and call me 'Mama' once more."

His mother held back the tears welling in her eyes. Without asking for anything in return, she cared for him, nurtured him and protected him. Her eyes gave him the courage to live on. In this way, when he was 16, his mother gave him a second life.

Like a Newborn Baby

Unable to afford the heavy hospital expenses, Kun-shan was taken back to their tiny home. His wounds had not healed yet.

In order to help support the family, he had gotten a job right after graduating from grade school. His wages were NT$600 [US$24] a month. He had to work 11 hours a day with only three days off in a year, all at Chinese New Year time. His four limbs well grown, he could easily shoulder a 100 kg [220 lb] sack of rice and walk steadily. Sometimes he could even run with it a little to make better time. He did not consider it a hard job, even when he had to walk on a gravel road under the hot sunshine carrying a bundle of iron material which bit his skin and bruised his whole body.

But now what could Kun-shan do? Like a newborn baby, he could not eat, take a shower, or go to the toilet by himself. His mother had to do the same things for him that she had done 16 years ago. She had to feed him all three meals mouthful by mouthful. By the time he finished eating, the food had became cold. It made him heartsick to see his mother eat cold food, especially in winter.

Not long after, his mother had an operation to remove a gallstone. After 15 days without a bath, he felt as if insects were biting him. He could only rub his body against the wooden bed or the wall to relieve the itching.

Kun-shan was deeply aware of the heavy pressure on his mother's shoulders. She often cried or moaned helplessly. Even when she went out, she always thought of her son who needed her at home.

Just for His Mother

For his mother's sake, Kun-shan made up his mind to learn to overcome his handicap and look after himself. First he made use of a device fixed to what was left of his right arm to hold a spoon to feed himself. From then on, he and his mother could enjoy hot rice together.

He also had a metal artificial leg fixed on his right knee. In summer that artificial leg became hot enough to burn him. Nevertheless, Kun-shan was very grateful because that artificial leg enabled him to stand up again.

One evening, Kun-shan tried to wash himself. There was no shower head in his home. He used a clothes-peg to clip the hose near the opening so that the water came out like an umbrella. He turned around and around under the water to let the dirt on his body wash away. For the first time, he felt so lucky and so happy that he could bathe himself.

When his mother came back that night, he told her happily what he had done. She asked him anxiously how he had dried himself off.

"When I put on the clothes, the clothes dried me," he replied.

"Then your clothes got wet. You could catch cold."

"The heat of my body dried my clothes."

They looked at each other and laughed, the mother with tears in her eyes. The sparkle in her eyes lighted the darkness of the past years.

During this period, Kun-shan had more ideas. "If the mountain doesn't turn, the road will turn. If the road doesn't turn, I will turn." In his daily life, he did everything himself, such as brushing his teeth, washing his face, making the bed, sweeping the floor, etc.

"What Do I Still Have?"

Many people suggested that, like many handicapped in Taiwan, Kun-shan sell lottery tickets to support his family. Some suggested that with his appearance, he could easily beg for money on the streets. Some suggested that he go to the government to ask for welfare. Some just called him a parasite.

Kun-shan, who had never been in a wheelchair before, kept asking himself, "Kun-shan Hsieh, is this where you will spend the rest of your life?" The vision of his mother working so hard to support the family was deeply imprinted in his mind. He gritted his teeth and shouted to himself: "Kun-shan Hsieh, you've got to stand up. Don't let others look down on you. You already broke your mother's heart when you lost your limbs. For your mother, be brave and walk."

The optimistic young man never complained about what he had lost. On the contrary, he thought calmly, "What do I still have? What can I possibly do?"

Kun-shan realized that although he had lost his hands, he still had a mouth. So he began to practice writing on a piece of paper with a brush in his mouth. It was quite embarrassing that when he was writing, his saliva ran all over. Besides, the characters he wrote looked very clumsy. After a few years' practice, he finally learned how to use a brush or pen skillfully with his mouth.

A friend gave him an art textbook with which he entered the world of painting. With nothing else to do, he started with the pictures of Confucius, Sun Yat-sen and Chiang Kai-shek. Stroke by stroke, he finished several pictures.

"I've found the way out. I can draw portraits of dead persons to make a living." Painting lighted his hope for the future. With the brush in his mouth, he expected that one day he could help support his family.

Once while watching a black-and-white TV, Kun-shan saw a program about the masterpieces of the Louvre. Although there were no colors, those paintings broadened his view and raised his ideals for painting. He decided to become an artist. In a world of color, he started a new life.

Learning to Paint

The Chinese Television Service (CTS) reported Kun-shan's misfortune on the program "Loving Heart." With the help of kind-hearted people, he was fitted with proper artificial limbs.

After being shut up for seven years without any friends caring about him or any relatives asking about him, Kun-shan finally walked out from his tiny 180-square-foot house and attended a painting class especially for physically handicapped persons. There he made some like-minded friends. He began to draw small, commercial landscape paintings which he sold for NT$50 [US$2] apiece to make a living.

In 1980, the famous painter Hsuan-san Wu held an exhibition at the Historical Museum. Kun-shan was touched by the magnificent, bold colors and the deeply thoughtful contents of the paintings. He plucked up his courage and told Mr. Wu that he would like to study painting from the master. With Mr. Wu's permission, he became an auditor in Mr. Wu's class at the National Art College.

Attending classes and studying painting were extremely difficult for him. Once on the way to school, he broke his artificial leg. Because he didn't want to miss any classes, he wouldn't go to the restroom and ended up getting an inflamed kidney. Another time when he was fixing the canvas with thumb tacks in his mouth, he broke two front teeth. In spite of all these, his decision to study painting was never shaken.

Whenever Kun-shan completed a painting, he made the long trip to Mr. Wu's home to show him the new work. In addition to teaching him how to make improvements, Mr. and Mrs. Wu frequently sponsored shows for him to promote his still immature products.

Kun-shan knew he was far behind his classmates in education, so he forced himself to study harder. Mr. Wu told him that he needed more knowledge to complement his skill in painting. That comment stimulated his desire to pursue further education.

He went to an evening school with a completed application form. A clerk there saw his appearance and said to him, "Even to study in evening school, you need a hand to write." He replied, "I filled out this application form by myself."

Kun-shan practiced painting in the daytime and went to school in the evening. After seven years, he finally got a senior high school diploma. During this period, he held three exhibitions. Again and again he challenged himself to create better works. He expressed his zest for life on canvas. He did not paint for money, but rather he painted to touch hearts.

"Creation is not a question of using the mouth or using the hand. It's a matter of how much you use your mind. I completed every work with extreme care. Each work is part of my life."

He participated in national fine art contests six times, and six times he failed. Finally, on the seventh time, he won. In his painting career, Kun-shan once again showed his determination for life.

Choosing to Be Happy

Many new friends have observed: "Kun-shan Hsieh, how open-minded you are! You are the exact opposite of a stereotypical handicapped person." This reminds him of a story that happened to him one day 18 years ago.

On that day, he was walking with his sister on the street. As usual, they were chatting and laughing with each other. When they reached a certain building, a woman ran up to them and gave him an envelope, saying, "Mister, this belongs to you. Please take it."

His sister opened the envelope for him and found $1,500 [US$60] cash inside. Kun-shan immediately tried to return the money to the woman, but she refused to take it back. She said to him, "I've followed you for a while. Among all the people bustling around on the streets, I found you were the happiest. But... you... you seem to be missing something on your body."

Then with a melancholy tone of voice, she talked about herself. Compared to Kun-shan's appearance, she should have been much happier, but because of the heavy pressures in her life and work, she was not happy at all. "Why are you so happy?" she asked.

"Why am I so happy?" He repeated humorously the same question which was in the minds of most people. "Maybe I've lost something on my body, but I still have the right to choose to live happily. It's not important whether your body is complete or not. The most important is to have a sound mind and an optimistic view of life."

With a smile on his face, he continued. "My body may have suffered and my soul may have been frustrated, but that's all over. If I should beat my breast, stamp my foot and regret what I've lost or blame myself for what's happened to me, I would lose a lot more precious things."

"We don't know what the future holds. Let bygones be bygones. I must grab every moment of the present. If I can fill every moment of the here and now, I will be truly human." Kun-shan has promised himself that he will always be a happy painter and live every day with a happy heart.

The Artist's Helper

A group of young people saw a report on Kun-shan on the TV program "Loving Heart," and came to visit him. He was 23 at that time. Among the visitors, there was a girl carrying a watermelon. Her name was Su-fen Lin. They talked about painting and were both very impressed by each other.

To a handicapped person, love is only an extravagant dream. It comes by luck and cannot be looked for. Besides, Kun-shan had to spend all his time and energy on painting. "What can I give her? Can I give her happiness?"

During the time that they knew each other, Su-fen's parents strongly objected to their friendship, and Kun-shan completely understood their concerns. Again and again, Su-fen's parents warned her. "Can a man missing three limbs give you real happiness?" "Just think, if anything happens, can he protect you?" Nevertheless, after seven long years running on the road of love, they finally formed a family, sharing happiness, anger, sorrow and joy with each other.

After the wedding, Su-fen became the biggest supporter of Kun-shan's life and career. If he wanted to sketch, she took pictures. She set up the canvas and prepared the painting materials for him. Her hands substituted for his lost hands.

One day he was painting a landscape on a highway near a beach. The sky became gray and rain started to fall. It was a good subject for painting. She prepared waterproof oil paints and stood behind him with an umbrella to protect him from the rain so that he could concentrate on painting.

"My hands are on my wife's body. She does the work behind the scenes on every painting I have made. As a matter of fact, 90% of my work is done by her."

Their daughters, Mumu and Beibei, are their dearest darlings. The best thing Kun-shan has given them has been to teach them to be independent, to smile and love, and to experience life with a little more luck than he had.

Extending the Power of Great Love

Recalling the care and concern that he received from so many loving people in the past, Kun-shan has tried to repay their help and encouragement. He was touched when they told him, "All we want is for you to paint happily." Being rich in their hearts, they didn't expect to get anything in return.

Because of this, he has participated in all kinds of public service activities. He has visited more than 40 primary and middle schools, prisons, and youth reformatories. He has related to people by his own person, his conduct and his paintings, hoping that more friends will open their minds and walk on the road of happiness together with him.

"The power that extends from my body is the accumulation of the great love of many people. The power of love is the most precious asset in my life."

Early this year, Sister Yung-chuan Lee, who had helped Kun-shan get his artificial limbs ten years ago, learned that several disabled young men in Tzu Chi Hospital needed counseling. Sister Lee had worked for the "Loving Heart" TV program before, and the image of Kun-shan Hsieh immediately appeared in her mind. She picked up the phone and dialed his number. Kun-shan immediately promised to help.

When Master Cheng Yen met him, she said sympathetically, "You suffered for so many years. Finally you have passed through it."

"I don't feel that I suffered at all. I was storing energy. Now it's time for me to exercise the right to use my body. I would like to be your assistant."

Kun-shan has traveled between Hualien and Taipei several times, encouraging young men who have been physically injured like he was many years ago. "All I do is stand in front of them and give them an example of how to stand up again after falling down."

The Courage To Face the Responsibility

On March 10, 1996, Kun-shan went to a Tzu Chi Commissioners Association meeting in Hualien. He watched the stage play "Pay Filial Piety Promptly." With the ups and downs of the dramatic plot, the scenes of his past appeared in his mind. His father, mother, family members, benefactors, even those who ridiculed or embarrassed him, all passed before his eyes. He could even hear the words his mother said in the ICU before her death: "What will you do after I'm gone?" In the play, the father had a bad cough, which reminded him of his own garbage-picker father shouting on the streets "Empth bottles for sale?" and coughing so hard as to cough up blood.

At that moment, hot tears welled up in his eyes. Su-fen was very much surprised, because even when his parents passed away he did not shed tears, even though he was extremely sad. She thought that after that accident happened to him when he was 16, he had no more tears left.

The play was fiction, but the emotions were real. The actors on the stage expressed the regrets that had been hidden in Kun-shan's heart for a long time. "The trees want to be quiet, but the wind keeps blowing; the children hope to look after their parents, but the parents are no longer there." Now that he had the ability to repay his parents for all they had given him, they were gone.

"Human beings are really so fragile. Life is so inconstant and anything can happen. On the other hand, people also have unlimited potential. It all depends on whether you have the resolution, will and courage to undertake the responsibility. As for me, I want to be a man with an open heart, to live in peace and with happiness. I want to stand under the beautiful sunshine with a smiling face."

Master Cheng Yen said:

"Be modest and treat others with kindness."

"Be mindful of everything."

"Common men are easily lost at the present time and they regret the past. Sages are enlightened in the present and feel relieved in the future."

Kun-shan has often contemplated these wise counsels. He is carrying out the spirit of Buddha's teachings in his daily life. "All dharma is created in the heart." Therefore, cultivating the heart is the most simple, but also the most difficult thing to do.

Kun-shan Hsieh encourages his friends: falling down and standing up again is the most difficult, but also the most simple thing to do.

Epilogue

To interview the Hsiehs for this article, I visited their home several times and shared their unique atmosphere of love and laughter. Mumu and Beibei have a resourceful father who makes milk, scrubs the floor, signs their school papers, tells stories, washes clothes, etc. In their eyes, he is not a mouth painter but a happy painter.

Mr. Hsieh said, "Because there is 'ego', we have up, down, left and right. If there is no 'ego' in our hearts, then the world is boundless." He has applied his "eliminate the ego" concept on the limited medium of the canvas and created a three-dimensional world of bright colors. He has finished each painting with colors mixed by his life and he has demonstrated the power of a persevering life. The deep wounds in his heart have enabled him to accommodate unusual happiness.