Sister Li-jen could feel the growing strength from L's hand, which was holding hers tightly. She told him to close his eyes slowly, and she recited with him the holy name of the Goddess of Mercy, which he had come to know very well.

After contracting AIDS, L quit his job and went home to Hualien. His parents wondered why their beloved son became so ill after returning from Taipei. He suffered fever, anorexia and diarrhea, which reduced his weight from over 130 pounds to 70 pounds. All this astonished L's parents greatly. They did not know anything about the seriousness of AIDS, nor would they believe that their son's infection resulted from his sexual behavior.

Unexpected Respect

When Sister Yen and a couple of volunteer sisters came to the ward to see L, he was feeling weak. He asked why they came to care for him. The sisters told him that they treated every patient like this. It seemed to him that most people rejected AIDS patients. Even his friends stayed away from him. Thus, having these women treat him like any other ordinary patient showed their genuine respect for him as a person.

That day, volunteer sisters held his hand and sang the song "Hold Your Hands Only." It was hard to say if this made him more accustomed to human social contact, but later he was seen more often with medical personnel, volunteers and social workers.

Noticing that he couldn't swallow anything, the sisters asked him to think of his favorite food. Cajoled into it, he tried hard and finally had a small tea egg and a papaya milkshake.

"I Knew You Would Come"

After L was discharged from the hospital and went home, his mother said his condition became worse. Sister Yen suggested to some sisters that they go to his home and see if they could do anything for him. On their first home-care trip, Sister Yen didn't forget to bring with her two things he would eat: a tea egg and a papaya milkshake.

In the car, someone asked why he hadn't stayed in the hospital for treatment. Sister Yen answered that he was a terminal care patient. If he stayed home, the family and the familiar surroundings would make him feel calmer and more at ease.

It was a quiet afternoon, and they found L's mother sitting under the eaves. Knowing that Tzu Chi volunteers would be coming in the afternoon, L had asked his father to change his diaper for him after his nap and then sat on the bed waiting. After exchanging greetings with the volunteers, the father went back to L's room to help his son to the living room.

"I'm glad you came to see my son, but I don't know what I should do for him," said the father sadly. "He can't eat anything we cook. He keeps having the runs." L was so skinny that he didn't look like a man. He could neither sitnor stand. He needed someone to hold his arm while standing up to walk. I was once again struck by what I had read about the symptoms of AIDS patients: they actually waste away to death slowly.

Precious Friendship

Suddenly a motorcycle appeared in the front yard with a young man astride it. It was L's childhood playmate. L's mother said the boy always came to see her son.

What for?

"We've been old friends for more than thirty years. I know about his sickness. I had to come see him. Perhaps I'm particular about loyalty to friends. I should say we've been friends since childhood and I treasure this wonderful karma very much." L was sniffling and coughing up phlegm again. His friend produced tissue papers and lightly wiped it away for him.

Afterwards, L revealed to us his one wish: that his older brother would find a wife soon so that they could look after his parents. During L's hospitalization, Tzu Chi people had taken good care of him. Affected by their generosity and kindness, L longed to become a volunteer to serve others, but apologized that he couldn't even stand on his feet now. He made a vow that he would return to the Tzu Chi world in his next life and be a man who could make use of his abilities to save others.

A Lamp to Light Up the Gloom

When L was hospitalized again, his life was moving closer to death and terror haunted him. He didn't dare to close his eyes for fear that he would never be able to see the world again. With a hoarse voice, he told Sister Li-jen about hallucinations he had seen. Holding his hand, Sister Li-jen could feel the increasing strength from the hand that was holding hers tightly. She told him to close his eyes slowly, reciting with him the holy name of the Goddess of Mercy that he knew so well. Meanwhile, she asked another volunteer, Sister Chen, to get a painting to his chest and fell asleep.

On the day L was about to die, Sister Li-jen thoughtfully asked him to talk about his previous jobs. The glorious past could no longer be, but it was like a lamp to light up the gloom. He talked enthusiastically and happily.

He died that afternoon. When he was sent to the morgue in the basement, many volunteers went to chant the holy name of Buddha for him. Though he had once expressed the desire to donate his body to others in need of healthy organs, the AIDS disease denied him the possibility.

Epilogue

Ms. Chuang Li-yun, chief nurse of Tzu Chi Hospital, says that most people link AIDS with homosexuals. This puts patients under moral pressure, causing them to feel ashamed when they reveal their illness or ask for help from their families. If patients tell their family the truth, they will most likely be accepted. As a matter of fact, there are other ways to contract AIDS, such as transfusion, contaminated needles, drug use, sexual intercourse with prostitutes or one's spouse, and vertical infection from mother to child. Some are innocent victims. So far, those who are infected will never have a chance to be cured, but the disease is preventable. All countries are doing their best to promulgate preventive measuers.