I have been telling this
story to almost everyone I see. Back in April of this
year, my cousin from Boston called me up and said,
“Grace, I’m coming to Los Angeles. What do you want me
to bring for you?” I immediately thought of the yummy
frozen Maryland crab cakes that a friend had once brought
for me, so I said, “Why don’t you bring me lobster? I
love lobster.” Of course, when I told my cousin that, I
was just joking. Although lobster was my favorite food at
that time, I didn’t really think that she would take
what I said all that seriously.
The next day, my cousin flew in from Boston to visit
me. As I opened the door to greet her, I found her
standing there, carrying two big boxes and looking very
exhausted. I asked her, “What did you bring with you?”
She said seriously, “I brought two live lobsters for
you. Didn’t you say that you love lobster? I carried
these two lobsters with me all the way from Boston because
you told me that you like them.” I thought to myself,
“Oh-oh…. She actually listened to what I said? How
could she listen to what I told her? I was just joking.
How can I eat two live lobsters? What shall I do?”
I told my cousin, “Hey, this is too sad, I can’t
eat two live lobsters…. Okay, I guess if they’re not
alive, I could probably eat them but not when they’re
still alive.” My cousin was pretty upset when she heard
this, because she thought I’d be very happy to see her
bring those two delicious-looking live lobsters. I then
said to her, “I’m sorry, but can’t you just let the
two lobsters go? Can’t we just put them back in the
ocean?” My cousin laughed. She thought I was crazy.
“They’re from Boston. They won’t stay alive if you
throw them into the Pacific Ocean.”
“Okay, fine, I won’t eat them. It’s too sad,” I
said. My cousin didn’t know what to say, so she just put
the two lobsters in the refrigerator and said she would
cook them and eat them later on.
Two days passed, and we almost forgot about the
lobsters. However, when we finally opened the fridge, we
knew that we had to do something about them. So, my cousin
decided to cook them up and eat them. We opened the two
boxes, and we saw two pairs of eyes staring at us, with
two pairs of claws waving at us like they were saying
hello. My cousin and I both said to each other, “How can
they be alive after two days in the fridge?”
But my cousin just decided that no matter what, it was
too late to let them go, so she didn’t want to waste the
food. Both of us were too scared to cook them or even
touch them. I tried to talk my cousin out of eating the
two lobsters, but she insisted that it was a waste of
food, so it was still better to cook them. She refused to
put the lobsters in boiling water, because she thought
that the lobsters would scream really loud in pain and
move around and splash boiling water all over the place.
After almost 45 minutes of discussion, I went from
insisting on letting the lobsters go to helping my cousin
cook the lobsters. But of course, I still refused to eat
them, because it was just too sad to see the two living
creatures die in front of my eyes. My cousin and I
discussed all sorts of methods to cook the lobsters, and
for some odd reason we finally decided on a method: bake
the lobsters in the oven, while they were still ALIVE.
Okay, I admit, I was not thinking, and I was stupid to
let something like that happen. Not only did my cousin and
I decide on the most painful way for lobsters to die, we
also forgot to preheat the oven!
I somehow managed to help my cousin put the lobsters in
the oven, but it took a while. The lobsters were
struggling while my cousin and I were trying to put them
into the oven. It was like they knew that they were about
to die. Poor things! How would they know that they were in
the hands of two stupid girls who knew nothing about
cooking lobsters?
As we turned away from the kitchen, I immediately heard
the two lobsters pounding on the oven door. It was a very
rapid, loud pounding. “Bang, bang, bang, bang,
bang….” The pounding sound reminded me of when I was
young, when I accidentally locked myself in a dark room
all by myself, and I was so scared that I pounded hard on
the door to get someone to rescue me.
At the same time, the lobsters also made some other
noises. It was as if they were calling to me, “Let me
out, let me out, let me out….” I didn’t dare look
into the oven, but I already had the picture in my head of
the lobsters using their last remaining energy to pound on
the oven door with their claws, hoping that someone would
save them.
I then kneeled down, with tears in my eyes, and prayed
to the Bodhisattva, “Amitabha, Amitabha, I’m sorry
that I helped to kill two living creatures. I’m sorry
that I acted like a killer. I pray that the lobsters will
go to a better place. It’s too late for me to save them
now, because my cousin is going to eat them; and I can’t
put them back into the ocean. I’m sorry for all I’ve
done.”
At the same time, a thought came into my mind: “I
cannot eat meat or seafood anymore. I cannot live my life
as a killer of living beings. I promise to become a
vegetarian for the rest of my life now. I’m grateful to
the two lobsters for saving the lives of hundreds and
thousands of lobsters, shrimps, chickens, etc. Now that I
am a vegetarian, no more animals will be killed in order
to satisfy my cravings.”
I know it sounds kind of corny that I thought of
something like that. Actually, whenever I tell this story
to others, I laugh about this thought that came into my
mind at that very moment. However, the truth is that this
one thought has changed my life in a significant way.
It’s been three months now, and I still have not
eaten any seafood or meat. I actually feel healthier both
physically and mentally. I know for sure now that I will
be a vegetarian for the rest of my life. Until this day, I
still think about and talk about the two lobsters that
served as martyrs to save the lives of other animals that
I would possibly have killed had I not become a
vegetarian!