"When a doctor at the Tzu Chi Dialysis Center told me that I could receive free dialysis treatment from now on, I was overjoyed. I was speechless and could only keep crying... I felt as if someone had kindly put an umbrella over me as I walked in a downpour." Touched by the spirit of Tzu Chi volunteers, Momo Ali decided to become a volunteer too. He helps to clean the center and the garden. There are many patients-turned-volunteers like him at the Penang Tzu Chi Dialysis Center.

The burning sun glared down from high above on a typical sultry August day in Malaysia. The air was hot and wet. Even if I stayed still, I sweated.

I followed a volunteer to a suburban residential area in eastern Penang. A whitewashed building with a blue roof in the far distance caught my attention, because it resembled a Tzu Chi volunteer's blue-sky-and-white-cloud uniform.

I walked into the building's flourishing garden, filled with luxurious flowers and trees. The aroma of osmanthus flowers could somehow cover up the heat and humidity in the air and induced me to inhale the fragrance. I felt refreshed instantly. Had it not been for a big sign, "Buddhist Tzu Chi Dialysis Center," above the entrance, this quiet, beautiful place could easily have been mistaken for a resort center.

As I pushed open the door, I was greeted not by a poignant smell of medicine, but a soothing aroma of lilies placed on a Buddhist altar. On the left of the foyer was a painting, "The Buddha Cares for the Sick." Lee Chi-lang, administrative director of the center, hoped the painting would motivate all staff to serve every dialysis patient with the spirit of "Great mercy even to strangers and great compassion for all." We must show care and concern even for people that we don't know and we must share compassionately in the unhappiness of others.

The center has 12 kidney dialysis machines. Taking two to three shifts, the machines provide service to 54 patients every day. Currently, regular patients include 48 Chinese, 2 Hindus, 3 Malays and 1 Sikh. Most of them are either solitary elders, low-income people, or family breadwinners. Tzu Chi extends free services to all people regardless of their race or religion as long as they have been evaluated and deemed eligible for free treatment. The center has no room to accommodate any more patients due to its limited space and equipment; Tzu Chi is therefore subsidizing dialysis treatment for over 100 kidney patients at other hospitals.

"Superintendent Lee"

The time was nine in the morning. Eleven dialysis machines were in full operation, and a backup machine was quietly waiting. Lee Kuo-hsing, 47, was receiving treatment at the rear of the room. A tube inserted in his left arm connected him to the machine. His right hand was busily arranging medical equipment for incoming patients. He worked so deftly that it was hard to tell that he was a patient and not a medical staff member.

"Superintendent Lee, why don't you wait ten minutes until your treatment ends?" asked Nurse Lin Niang-chu. Because patients often experience symptoms of dizziness or hypotension during the dialysis process, the nurse hoped all patients could fully concentrate on the treatment to prevent those symptoms from happening.

"Don't worry! You're all so busy. Since my right hand is free, I might as well make use of it," Lee said reassuringly. As one of the center's earliest patients, he has been receiving medical care at the center for five years. As time passed, he developed relative-like closeness with the medical staff and other volunteers. Nurses nicknamed him "Superintendent Lee." He comes to the center every day, even on days he does not need treatment, to chat with old friends and serve as a volunteer.

Lee is full of affection for the dialysis machines that have served as his kidneys. He told me that after five years' experience in receiving treatment, he had become an expert in using the dialysis machines. Since he was so familiar with the machines, he often offered his help to new patients.

Lee found out he had kidney atrophy in 1992. For the next four years, he consulted many famous doctors and tried a myriad of treatments. Although he spent all his savings, his health did not improve but deteriorated instead. "I returned to the hospital for another checkup in 1996. When the doctor told me that I had to rely on dialysis machines for the rest of my life, I was so upset that I almost collapsed."

Since there is no comprehensive health insurance in Malaysia, patients must pay all medical expenses from their own pockets. Dialysis treatment costs 150 Malaysian ringgits (US$39.47) per use. If a patient receives 13 treatments per month, he must pay close to 2,000 ringgits. The average person earns 2,000 ringgits per month, so when a person becomes afflicted with kidney problems, it is like being sentenced to death.

"I was a blue-collar worker who earned 300 ringgits a week. It was not enough to cover three treatments a week." The every-other-day dialysis treatments took a good part of Lee's time and prevented him from finding a regular job. The crushing pressure from losing his job and paying the astronomical dialysis costs forced him to seek financial help.

In August 1997, the Tzu Chi Dialysis Center opened. Volunteers found out about Lee by reading local newspapers. After visiting his home several times, they evaluated his situation as the sole breadwinner of the family and deemed him qualified for free treatment.

Today Lee's two children have finished their studies and have started working. With his load significantly lessened, Lee uses his free time to help at his wife's food stand and volunteer at the center.

Gardener Ali

I saw a dark-skinned Malay with a hose in his hand, watering flowers in the garden. After a while he began expertly pruning the plants. Lee told me that the man was actually a patient at the dialysis center. He always came to the center an hour before his appointment time in order to take care of the garden and clean the center.

"Tzu Chi has saved my life. Without the free dialyses, I would have kicked the bucket a long time ago!" Momo Ali, 56, hopes to repay Tzu Chi with his expertise in gardening and cleaning. "Doing these jobs also keeps me from getting dizzy when I receive dialysis afterwards."

Ali used to be a janitor at a factory. Three years ago when he was working, his left arm suddenly became turgid, sore, and numb. He eventually fainted. His family sent him to the hospital. The checkup showed that he was afflicted with a kidney illness and that he had to be hospitalized. This bolt from out of the blue immediately shrouded the moderate-income family in gloom.

Ali fought the illness for a year, but he lost the battle and had to give in to dialysis. "I lost my job when I was fighting the kidney problem. Then I had to pay the crushing dialysis expenses, which dried up my life's savings in less than a month." In order to take care of him, his wife quit her job, thus putting the heavy financial burden on their three children. But with their meager incomes, they still could not make ends meet.

His son's coworker at the factory told him about the Tzu Chi Dialysis Center. Ali contacted the center for help. "When a doctor at the center told me that I could receive free dialysis from now on, I was overjoyed. I was speechless and could only keep crying... I felt as if someone had kindly put an umbrella over me as I walked in a downpour," said Ali. He was very grateful for the gentle care of the medical staff and heartwarming company of volunteers. He said that because of their help, he was given new life and rediscovered happiness.

After three years of dialysis, Ali's health is in relatively good shape. Although a Muslim, he cleans this Buddhist dialysis center and sometimes even the Buddhist altar. Ali even performs Thai massages on patients troubled by leg cramps during dialysis treatments.

Let patients help each other

Around half of the 54 dialysis recipients have become volunteers at the center. "When I fell to the bottom of the pit," patient Lee Tsai-chu said, "it was Tzu Chi that lifted me out. I want to try my best to help others in my remaining days."

After Tsai-chu fell ill, she thought of ending her life more than once. The complications from dialysis and the overwhelming medical expenses were too much for her and her family. Her suicidal attitude changed after she began to receive free dialysis and the volunteers' warming care. "No words can express my gratitude toward Tzu Chi. Everything the volunteers have done for me comes from the bottom of their hearts, and yet they expect nothing in return." After Tsai-chu came to Tzu Chi, she often listened to tapes of Master Cheng Yen's lectures. One aphorism--"One's life should be measured not by length, but by the good deeds one has done for the world"--touched a cord in her heart. She prayed that one day she could become a volunteer. So when she learned that Tzu Chi volunteers visited different kidney patients twice a week, she asked to go with them. She became one of the first group of kidney volunteers who went with Tzu Chi people to send love to kidney patients every Wednesday night and Saturday afternoon.

"I remember that the night before my first visit, I was so excited that I couldn't fall asleep." When a major earthquake hit Taiwan on September 21, 1999, Tsai-chu went with other Tzu Chi people to solicit donations on the street. She said that after she became a volunteer, she learned how to smile and how to care for others. "We once visited a kidney patient who had cancer. Although she knew her time was limited, she still stayed optimistic. If she could do it, then I have all the more reason to follow her example."

We're a family

Many kidney patients have emerged from self-pity and begun actively planning the later parts of their lives. Some have even turned from care recipients to care givers. Their change and growth are the biggest comfort to the staff at the center. Volunteer Lin Tzu-pin has been with the center since its inauguration. Volunteers give their love to the kidney patients, and in return they learn a lot from the patients' courage and determination in tackling the challenges of life.

Tzu-pin told me that the patients had come together and formed a kidney patients' association. They meet every month and join volunteers to share their experiences with other kidney patients. When their health allows, they even sort recyclable materials with volunteers.

"I often see Tzu Chi volunteers collecting recyclable materials on the streets, rain or shine," said patient Hsieh Fu-jung. "They work so hard not for themselves, but to raise funds for us--the kidney patients. Seeing their unconditional giving, I feel that we kidney patients must use our own strength to help ourselves."

The center has a full-time doctor, nurse specialists, nurse assistants, social workers, and administrative workers to provide professional services to the patients. As for the volunteers, they care for the patients' health and their emotions. "Rather than saying that we give patients advice, we'd rather say we only give them mental support and companionship," Tzu-pin said. "In fact, patients and volunteers are all beneficiaries." Volunteers interact with the patients from the bottom of their hearts in order to make patients feel that they are coming "home" for dialysis treatments.

I walked from the foyer to the garden. I looked up just in time to see a scene that deeply moved me. Momo Ali was sweeping the floor. When he saw another patient, Liang Jung-tsai, come in, he, a Malay, immediately opened his arms to welcome Liang, a Chinese. The two patients of different skin colors were locked in a warm embrace, and they greeted each other in their common language--Malay. At that moment I keenly felt that the dialysis center was not only a place that cured illness, but also a place that mended broken hearts.

Tzu Chi volunteers who are in good health might not fully understand the suffering of kidney patients. But patients who have been through or who are currently facing similar destinies can find solace in each other as they share the voices in their hearts.

There is a song that goes like this: "Life is a long road and also a fleeting light; life is as soft as cotton and also as strong as steel..."

Everyone is playing an important role in a show called "Life." Scenes of birth, aging, illness, and death reoccur on this stage again and again. Our lives might be long or short, perfect or flawed. Yet as long as we put our best foot forward in playing our roles, the show of life will have a perfect ending.