One day I mustered up courage and called a well-off relative of mine, believing he would happily make a contribution. After all we were relatives. Surprisingly my plan backfired. He flatly refused my request with a stern, merciless rebuff.

My heart fell from high hopes to the depths of sadness. I hung up the phone with tears streaming down my cheeks. Sumiatun, a nice young Indonesian woman and my wonderful helper, took everything in with her eyes. Silently she walked up to me, handed me NT$300 [about US$10], and comforted me: "I know you want to help the poor, so this money is for you..." Her kindness warmed my heart like a soothing breeze and lifted me from an abyss of depression.

Behind the tears

Nine months ago, I went to pick up my helper at a foreign worker agency. As I waited in the office, a petite, dark-skinned girl walked in. Her eyes were conspicuously red. "The unbearable thought of leaving her former employer made her cry," the agent explained. "She couldn't be that sweet," I thought. "But if that's the case, she must be the one I've been looking for."

As time went by, I learned more about her past. Sumiatun was born on an island in Indonesia twenty-seven years ago. Before she turned twenty, she was already serving as a maid in Saudi Arabia to support her family in Indonesia. Every penny she earned was saved for her parents to buy a farm. After she returned home, her parents married her off at the age of twenty-one.

The marriage was far from happy. Her parents-in-law, for one reason or another, disliked her from the very beginning. Their attitude scarcely changed even after she gave birth to a baby boy. Her husband became addicted to gambling. His behavior eventually drove Sumiatun's patience to the limit and prompted her to ask for a divorce. Unable to cope with her request, her husband attempted suicide by gulping down a bottle of herbicide. Fortunately, he was saved. Her parents-in-law begged her to drop the divorce.

To provide for the family, especially her son's schooling, she again crossed the ocean to work as a maid in Taiwan. Upon her arrival in Taipei, she could only speak a few sentences of Chinese.

After she moved into my flat, she got up before six thirty every morning to begin the household chores and baby-sitting. Her child-rearing skills amazed a new mother like me. Her hard work won my trust, and gradually we opened our hearts and became good friends with each other.

Yet she was still timid. She often came to me with red eyes and asked for a painkiller. Whenever I asked her what was wrong, she merely told me she had a headache without giving me any further explanation. After I had gained her trust, she revealed her worry that she might be sent back to Indonesia if she were diagnosed as having some serious illness. It would bring trouble not only to herself, but also to her son since he would no longer be able to go to school.

I reassured her over and over again that her concern was unnecessary and she should go see a doctor with me. Finally she gave in and went to see several doctors. But the treatments turned out to be useless, and her feeble condition remained the same. Finally a doctor concluded that her illness was most likely caused by melancholy, and only when her mental distress was relieved would the situation improve.

I persistently encouraged her to relate her troubles or anxiety to me. She finally let go of her defensive attitude and told me an unpleasant story that befell her after she came to Taiwan. Initially the agent had assigned her to my home, but because I was hospitalized and could not pick her up, the agent temporarily assigned her to another family.

The unfamiliar environment was an immense burden for her. Along with the long work hours and meager meals, her stomach hurt. A bigger blow was dealt when the agent informed the family that I was ready to take her. The family complained to the agent that they suspected that Sumiatun had stolen a gold ring. Searching her luggage, that family found nothing. To prove her innocence, Sumiatun had to strip off her clothes in front of the hostess. Although she proved her innocence and the family apologized, her self-esteem was deeply scarred.

This was the real reason why her eyes were red when I picked her up at the agency. All this haunting pressure was the real cause of her headaches, stomachaches and other discomforts. Fortunately these symptoms disappeared after she underwent a period of medical treatment and my care for her.

Loving kindness

I had heard many stories of foreign helpers mistreating children, and even the agent advised me to be careful. Worried that my son might fall into the wrong hands, I often hid in the corner to observe how Sumiatun dealt with my son. After a while, I realized that she was not only an experienced mother but also very loving. However her ways of nurturing were sometimes at odds with our ways.

My husband hoped our son would not become overly dependent on others, so he told Sumiatun and me not to go to the boy the moment he started crying. However Sumiatun, being such a loving person, would dash to hug him in her arms every time he cried. She would even cry with the child for fear that we might prevent her from approaching him. The boy won her heart. She once refused to talk to me because I left my boy crying too long.

I remembered a time when we all went out by car. My son found the infant car seat uncomfortable and wailed in protest. Sumiatun insisted on holding him in her arms and would only give in after I told her that the police could fine us. After we reached home, she told me that the boy's tears broke her heart, so she preferred to stay home and take care of him, rather than go out with us.

Sumiatun is strong-minded, especially regarding child-rearing. We often have to explain to her patiently that the ways we treat our son are meant for his benefit. She then happily accepts our ways. She is truly a nice girl. Through time, not only did I come to appreciate her loving kindness, but even my friends and elderly relatives began to speak highly of her.

She is not only diligent, but also respectful to elders. Whenever we visit our parents, she picks up a broom and dustpan to clean the house without anyone telling her to do so. Her hard work won my parents' hearts. My husband and I are vegetarians, so we do not have meat in our home. Once my mother-in-law brought her a meat pie and she told me she liked it. I mentioned that to my parents. Since then, they have been secretly bringing her meat pies to show how much they like her.

More than anything else, she is a mother with a subtle, sentimental mind. I remember once we were having red bean soup. The soup reminded her that her son once said to her, "Mommy you make the best red bean soup in the world." As she scooped up spoonfuls of the soup, tears streamed down her face, revealing her thoughts for her son. How living away from her son must have tormented her!

High self-esteem

Being a pious Muslim, Sumiatun wholeheartedly prays to Allah every day. I told her that Allah would naturally protect her if she harbors kindness in her heart and does her best to help others. She apparently accepted my interpretation and worked more happily than ever.

Sumiatun is a woman of high self-esteem. She refused to go with me when I had meals with my friends for fear that she might be looked down upon. I told her not to feel that way, because all jobs are equally respectable as long as one contributes whatever one can and refrains from stealing, cheating or being lazy. I also reminded her that she was already part of the family and that I was so grateful for having her with us. I believe all my friends, who are fond of me, are fond of her as well.

Together we watch Tzu Chi TV every day to learn about Master Cheng Yen and the Tzu Chi World. She told me that she wanted to follow Master Cheng Yen and do good for society. Although she had little money, she still wanted to become a volunteer. However, she was worried that my son would be left unattended when she was away doing volunteer work. "Don't worry, we can take turns carrying him on our backs and then we can both be volunteers," I reassured her.

Despite being in a foreign land, working hard to support her family, she is still willing to help others. When she saw how depressed I was after my relative turned down my request to make a contribution to our foundation, she immediately handed me NT$300. The amount might have been small, but the kindness stemming from her generosity was truly great. Staring at the money, I suddenly became tongue-tied. I asked her to take the money back, but she refused to do so. Knowing her good intentions, I made a proposal: I would not ask her to wash my car, since she already had a heavy workload, but I would help her achieve her desire of doing good deeds by donating one hundred dollars in her name each time she washed the car for me.

Not only did she accept my proposal, she proposed to solicit donations for me from other Indonesian friends and relatives serving in our community. With a smile she said that they were all potential donors!

Sumiatun touches a chord in my heart. Being a mother myself, I can understand her sorrow of parting with her dear son in order to provide her family with a better life. Although I have a thousand reasons why I do not want to let her go, I sincerely pray that the day will soon arrive when she can be reunited with her son. After all, Sumiatun is more than a wonderful helper--she is my good friend. I want the best for her.