"I'll stand up. I'll find myself a job. Please don't try to help me like this..." Once she collapsed and cried, but now she no longer buries herself in her own world. Instead, she looks around to see if there is anything she can do.

"I can't die!"

Miao-ching was a single parent. For nine years she single-handedly raised her three daughters. She had two jobs, and she worked like a top spinning round and round without stopping. She never thought about the purpose of life. She only worked hard so that her children had food to eat and clothes to wear and could grow up quickly.

She had always lived like that. If the earthquake on September 21 had not occurred, her world might still be rotating the same way it always had, with no ending.

That night she came back from her night shift and was just about to go to sleep. Suddenly a strong temblor occurred. She instinctively covered her second daughter, who was sleeping beside her, with her body. A whole wall fell down and crushed her pelvis. Gradually, she lost all sensation. She knew her situation was bad. In the darkness under the rubble, she calmly uttered her last words to her daughter. She also urged her daughter not to give up, for rescue must be on its way.

Miraculously, in spite of excruciating pain, Miao-ching did not die. She was dug out from the rubble and taken to a hospital by helicopter. The doctor looked at her wounds and then turned around to glimpse at the other patients who were flooding into the hospital. The doctor said to her with regret, "Err... in the time we spend on you, we may lose four others..." Suddenly she thought that she should not be so selfish, so she put her fate in the hands of God. Her second daughter, whom she had saved without the slightest injury, faithfully accompanied her. Another physician, Tai Hao-ping, suddenly noticed the mother and daughter and asked curiously, "Are you a single parent?"

"Yes, doctor. I can't die. I can't leave my three children behind..." After a brief discussion with an osteopath, Dr. Tai came back to her. "We'll take you to the operating room now. Hold on! As long as you live, your three children will have hope."

Unbearable idleness

"I've been busy all my life. I've never been at leisure except during this time in the hospital. I was lucky that I had such a good rest." Unlike other patients who would like to stay in the hospital until they have completely recovered from their injuries, Miao-ching wanted to leave her sickbed as soon as possible. "It's unbearable to lie here without doing anything," she grinned to Tzu Chi volunteers who came to visit her.

She talked as if nothing serious had happened. Actually, she had a high fever and insomnia for forty out of the sixty days of hospitalization. Whenever she was awake, she would always wear a smile. She never moaned or wept in front of people. Even the doctor praised her: "Of all the patients I've seen, you are the only one who never wears a frown. Your spirit is really commendable."

Only Miao-ching herself knew that she had three children depending on her. How could she let them down? Besides, having been a single parent for so many years, she had cultivated the strength of character to endure hardships and always show a smiling face.

Although her physical injuries were quite serious, the earthquake gave her the chance to stop and take another look at the world around her.

Throughout the years, her daughters had given her the courage to carry on, but during her hospitalization she found out for the first time how fast they had been growing. She had worked day and night all these years and never had a chance to really look at them. "It seems I've missed a lot..." The regretful mother began to pray to heaven to let her live longer. "I don't ask for anything else. I only want them to stay with me so that I can watch them grow."

In addition to finding her daughters growing up so quickly, Miao-ching has also noticed that society is no longer the same as it used to be. Representatives from many charity organizations, including Tzu Chi, have come to see her. After careful evaluation of her situation, Tzu Chi decided to give her long-term financial support.

"To tell the truth, I've walked a long way by myself. I never knew our society could be so warm. I've received help even from strangers." She was deeply touched.

I don't want to be helped

However, that didn't mean that Miao-ching could willingly accept help and goodwill, because the more firm and persistent she was, the stronger her self-esteem was.

Doctors had estimated that her treatment would take a year. She could not afford to hire a caretaker and she didn't want to accept money from others. She asked her oldest daughter, who was in seventh grade, "Can you drop out from school for just one year to look after me? As soon as I get better, I'll let you go back to school."

Once the news got out, her daughter's teachers came to see her and begged her not to drop out. They promised to help her deal with any problems that came her way.

Not until someone brought Miao-ching a newspaper did she learn that the school had held a fund-raising campaign for her. She had never shed tears before, but this time she collapsed on her bed and cried bitterly. "I don't want that. You can care for me all right, but don't give me any financial help." She was particularly afraid that her daughters might be labeled as students from an underprivileged family and that they would not be able to hold their heads up in the future. "I'll stand up. I'll find myself a job. Please don't try to help me like this..."

The social workers in the hospital constantly tried to convince her that what she needed was a professional therapist, not a daughter who knew nothing about rehabilitation. Gradually she felt less depressed and ashamed of herself. She seemed to comprehend that other people were offering her nothing but respect and blessings.

However, when the schools asked Miao-ching to go accept the donations, she struggled again and again. She explained to Sister Ke Hsiu-ying from Tzu Chi, "The school collapsed in the earthquake and most of the parents of the students are victims of the disaster as well. How can I take their money?"

Sister Hsiu-ying analyzed the situation for her. "You have a long way to go. Don't worry. Let those kind people help you now. Maybe in the future you will be able to give back more than you receive today."

Miao-ching finally gave in, and she deposited the money for her children's education. However, she still decided to feed herself by making her own living as soon as she could. In the meantime, she asked Tzu Chi not to give her any more subsidies, but instead to give the money to someone else who might need it more.

Thanks to everyone

Miao-ching's rehabilitation lasted until May 2000. As soon as she could walk, she went back to the factory where she used to work. Because she had always been industrious, amicable and cheerful, everybody welcomed her back. "I'm really very thankful. In our company there are lots of people with doctorates and master's degrees and I'm only a junior high school graduate, yet they all remembered me and wanted me to come back."

What touched her more was that her colleagues often reminded her to stand up and take a walk since she was not supposed to sit too long. During lunch breaks, people came to see her.

Surviving by the skin of her teeth, she has realized the blessings and warmth surrounding her. Although she has received a heavy blow, she seems to be leading a more rewarding life.

Miao-ching is as firm and persistent as she has always been, but she is more accommodating and more open-minded. She no longer cares how much she owes others. She will repay society anyway. She no longer buries herself in her own world. Instead, she turns her head and looks around to see if there is anything she can do.